Month: May 2016

When does it get better?! 

“When does it get better?”
My husband asked me from our bed as I walked in to wash my face, put on my face cream and brush my teeth.

I said “I don’t know?! Ugh maybe it doesn’t get better.” Then I walked out.

I went into check on our son since he woke up with a nightmare. I can barely keep my eyes open and my teeth are growing fur and I really need to wash my momiform aka “the robe”

This is reality.  I’m the mom. Even tho sometimes I feel like a dirty diaper and smell like a prepubescent boy. I’m happy I get to stay home and take care of my boys. I don’t know how it’s all going to workout but Lord knows it will. 

Right now I’m in my older sons twin bed writing this and watching him sleep. Creepy?! Um no! Pretty soon he won’t let me in his room, let alone lay in his bed to talk and scratch his back. 

Just before he fell asleep he looks at me and says,

“You can be happy mommy. I love you to the moon and back ten times.”

10 is the magic number. Everything is 10, ten more minutes, ten years old, 10! 

He was playing with my hair and then he kissed his fingers and touched my lips.

Tears start streaming down my cheeks and falling onto the pillow.

  He fell asleep with my hair in his hand. 

How do children have such intuition and know just what to say? I feel like God was speaking to me through my child. 

Lately it’s been so tiresome and exhausting to teach, love and nurture 2 little ones and all that goes along with it. But there are these little moments when you get a glimpse of a little breakthrough. 

When they are on their best behavior and use manners. 

When they show remorse and have a conscience. 

When they genuinely show love, care and concern for another person, you stop and think I’m doing a damn good job!

When they are misbehaving and you threaten and you have to follow through. That’s being hardcore and good parents. We have been following through and finally the thing I never understood and hated hearing my mom say was “it’s always harder to say No, than it is to say yes!” 

Huh?!? It all makes sense now. In order to not raise an asshole in today’s society we have to say no. 

Reward good behavior but also give penalties. Negotiating with little terrorists. Telling them NO more screen time when it’s easier to ignore and silence them with God knows what garbage. Hello guilty! Erryday. We iPad, YouTube, watch movies. 

People want to criticize everything. Mostly people without kids. Sorry DINKS. I always think “this is the diary of Britney Spears, you think you know but you have no idea.” It’s true we don’t know someone’s path until we walk in their shoes. 

But refreshingly I have heard that if our parents had these devices and tools they too would use them to their advantage to get things done. One of my favorite quotes of all time is from Ferris Bueller’s day off Ferris: “Life moves pretty fast. If you don’t stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it.”

When does it get better? It doesn’t because these are the best days of our lives. The hardest yet most rewarding, because we are blessed and responsible for molding 2 precious boys into men. It’s a serious and great reaponsibility. We must stop and be present. Be present with our children. Be present with ourselves and with eachother. 

Xoxo

Just Happy Mommy 

Hot Mess to Hotness in 30 minutes 

Hot mess to hotness in 30 min 
You know when you have a big event, and the night before you think, “I got this”, and then in the morning you don’t?! Well that’s my life most of the time. I can plan my outfit, jewelry, makeup, shoes, hair, and all that but something usually happens where I’m more of a hot mess than hotness. 

A few examples. My wedding night. I’m not going to get drunk and stay up late with all my amazing friends. Bahahaha ya right. Good morning father I’m sorry most of our wedding party smells like red bull vodka. But I still managed to look fabulous. I think being 25 and 125 lbs had something to do with it. 

Also, knowing I was going to be on TV this week, I’m all like “I’m going to workout, do a cleanse, drink lots of water, do a face mask, body wraps, sauna, etc.” Then the night before, eat my weight in Mexican food and wash it down with some queso. Oh yeah. That was my choice last night. Work hard, then get bloated before getting camera ready. 

PS I do NOT think cleanses are safe for moms. At least not this mom. I need coffee and chips ‘n salsa er’ryday. And if there is any type of baked good in this house, consider it gone down my gullet. I had cookies during my cleanse. Like, I eat Cheez-Its when I wrap. 

It works
Also I’m pretty positive kids know when you have something going on. They know when you have been out on date the night before and they get up at 6am on a Sunday and then they sleep in till 8am on Monday. Sunday nights go like this:
 “I need water!” “I need to go peepee!” “I need a snack!” “I had a bad dream!” “Can I have the iPad or watch minions??” 
“No! I will take all your hot wheels away.” Hello!!! We have a TV interview in the morning and mama needs her beauty sleep. 

It’s just like the book “Go the F to sleep!”

Go the F*** to sleep book

After a night of musical beds we accidentally sleep in and Of course it’s raining and I think I have a pinched nerve in my back. I feel like the princess and the pea. 

Ok for real. I get to my parents’ house dressed like this. 


In a bath wrap and rain boots. Aka Mommy is a hot mess! I got 30 minutes to get camera ready. And go…

We get to the TV station, and let me tell you what! Being back on the other side is waaaaay better. I used to have to set up the interviews and coordinate with people. It was pretty hilarious to see it played out as the interviewee. 

Thankfully the producer is a doll, and our photog is the bomb.com. Funny thing is, we are being interviewed about parenting. Bahahaha says the mommy blogger who says that I love Jesus but I cuss a little. And the mom who has accidentally locked her kid in the car, not once, but twice. Thank you Pop-a-Lock and Tulsa Fire Department. 

Here’s a tip. Don’t let your kids play with your keys as a distraction to get them in their car seats. Anyway, sorry for the side bar. 

It’s pretty funny. We tried to answer the questions, and I felt more like just Douche Mommy than my bad ass self. Can’t wait to see the finished product. KJRH NBC Channel 2 Friday night at 10pm or at KJRH website

It’s the real life ugly stuff we don’t post, but I’m certain we all have these moments all the time. Now instead of stressing out too bad, I think, “OK for real. Blog post!” I need a Mouseketool to get me thru the rest of the week, and it’s called sleep. It’s only Tuesday, and I’m already ready for a massage and our date night Friday night. 

Why do I feel like I can do a zillion things? The calendar and to do lists never end, but this week is CRAY!!! The last days of school, TV interview, lunch, teacher appreciation gifts, MIL in town, out to dinner, SAM’s club, baths and thunder game, go to the doctor, deliver lunch to friends, no nap for baby, swim lessons, dinner, blog post, clean house, dentist, park, B-roll footage at our house. Going to work, haircuts, swim lessons. Friday. Finally date night!!! Saturday workout, birthday party, block party. 

So as you can see, I’m a hot mess. But I try to do it all looking a hotness. Cheers to the super mamas out there. Love you all! 
Xoxo

Just Happy Mommy 

Remember to Love the not yet Mom’s 

 

Happy Mother’s Day!

I have been trying to think of a cute, heartfelt, and poignant post for this most important holiday. I think Mother’s Day is one of the best reasons to celebrate. We all love our mom, mama, mommy, madre. The woman that gave you life and would give her life to save yours. And I am so thankful I have 2 adorable, loving little boys. They are my reason for living and bring so much joy to me and our family.

I was woken up with smiling faces, hugs, kisses, hazelnut coffee, and a sweet card in bed. I mean does it get any better than that?!?! Yes. Yes, it does. The last week of my life has been the greatest gift and wish come true. We just got home from a family vacation to Destin, Florida. If you are contemplating a trip. Go. Don’t think. Just go.

img_3662

 

What if you aren’t a mommy?  Maybe you can’t become a mommy. What if you might never have the chance to have a child of your own? There are so many women struggling to have a baby.

I know there are so many ways to become a mother. Whether it is through the amazing gift of procreation, modern medical assistance with IVF, adoption, foster parenting or other ways.

But what if you woke up alone in a hospital bed? What if you were greeted by nurses, beeps, pills and questions? What if your body did not allow you to live a real life, let alone have the ability to grow and carry a child or even literally carry a child.

Some women with infertility issues, chronic illnesses, and debilitating diseases may never get the chance to be someone’s mother.

Could you imagine?

Simple freedoms. Things that we all expect to have until our health is compromised.

It’s almost like Alzheimer’s in reverse. Your mind is like let’s go and your body is like umm no what? Huh? slowing down.

While I complain that my baby has allergies or that we had to quit the country club and move from private to public school I have to stop myself and say STFU!

I bring these things up because, even though this is a day to rejoice and be thankful for mothers and all that they do for us, this is a day of pain and sadness for others. Death, loss, hopelessness, and fear.

The trivial things Mom’s complain about. The funny and disgusting things we talk about. The heart burn, morning sickness, laundry, dishes, wiping butts, and kissing booboos. Or wanting to pick up the phone and call your mom 19 times a day and remembering she’s not there.

There are women who are wishing they had those things to occupy their time. They want to have a baby, a butt to wipe, and little hand to hold, or have a mommy to hug.

Instead they are usually bombarded with questions. “When are you gonna have a baby?” “The clock is ticking.” “Are you trying?” “Are you gonna freeze your eggs?”

No shit. They know their clocks and they are consumed with conception, levels, medication and even staying alive. Whether it is infertility, cancer, rare and incurable diseases, there are women who are literally dying to be a mom.

Unfortunately this hits home to me as I have seen many friends and family members struggle. It has been at the front of my mind that the person closest to me for all of my life might not even have the chance to be a mommy. What if you are not able to take care of yourself but your mind sees and wants those normal things we all take for granted.

I want my sister to have a better quality of life. She has been in and out of hospitals for almost 8 years, and the last couple months have become worse, more serious, and concerning. She is embarrassed and doesn’t want pity. She is so strong it’s astonishing. Getting labs and blood work every week, doctor appointments, residents, hospital visits, infectious disease doctors, questions without answers, and the list goes on and on. Not being able to live alone let alone and keep a job or do daily tasks without feeling like hell everyday. If you can’t take care or yourself, how can you take care of a baby??

I could not imagine switching places with her and watching your sister and friends get married, have careers, and start families while you start a new IV treatment and look forward to a shower. That is torture. Yes, she endures all of this and still has faith and hope. But it’s wavering. So I decided to pamper her on Mother’s Day. I gave her a pedicure, blowout and makeup. Even with no where to be but in a hospital bed it made her feel special and loved.

 

My parents are at an impasse. They have done everything they can and still do not know how to help their baby.

You have a baby and love these tiny humans more than anything. I don’t know what might be worse than not being able to help your child’s suffering for so long and not being able to give them a good, happy, healthy life.

Mothers are the glue of this world. But we also crack and sometimes break. The love of our children helps keep us together. My mom is one of those people. She is the glue that keeps our whole family together. So selfless, compassionate, caring, and loving. I love my mom more than I love myself, and she has taught me so much. I can only hope to be the mother she is to me to my babies.

So not only tell your mom how much you love her. Tell the other women in your life how much you love and admire them. Do not pity or dismiss others challenges. Instead I challenge you to think of the women longing to hear Happy Mother’s Day.

Someone you know. Someone that is hurting. Reach out to them with a comforting text, phone call, or visit. I know in this day and age we are scared to pick up the phone and show true care and emotion. But, trust me, you have no idea what it might mean to someone that is struggling.

Some women chose not to have children for whatever reason. But could you imagine not having the physical ability to choose?

Happy Mother’s Day to my fellow mommies, the not yet Mom’s and to my beautiful Sissy. May God heal you and grant you a beautiful life you deserve. Remember

Just Happy Mommy

Xoxo

We all bleed the same color

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We all bleed the same color. This statement means something more to me than ever before. Like many Americans, I love my Alma mater. And in Oklahoma, people either bleed crimson or orange. Even though we like different schools, we are all the same. We bleed the same blood!

It reminded me of one of our favorite books to read to the boys, “Around the World We Go!” by Margaret Wise Brown. 

It has different languages and beautiful illustrations.  It teaches that we all smile in the same language, and the more we work together the better off we will be. Accepting and embracing our differences is an integral part of learning how to be a respectful human being. I can’t resist an opportunity to teach my boys life lessons. It is one of my favorite things about being a mommy. If we do not teach, tell, explain, and experience things with our kids, then how will they know the ways of the world?

If there is one thing you need to know about us Okies, it is that we stick together no matter what color flag we wave. We take pride in helping one another. Literally, when the winds come sweeping down the plains and tornadoes take lives, we unite and rebuild. Just like communities that need help rebuilding, there are children in need of blood to help rebuild their broken bodies.

I was recently approached to team up with the Oklahoma Blood Institute, and this was an opportunity I jumped at! We can save lives if we choose to donate our most precious resource, our blood. We know it is important, but do you give blood? I honestly have only donated twice in my life, and I need to set an example for my boys and donate more.

ONLY 38% of Oklahomans can donate blood

and

ONLY 10% of those people actually donate.

Plus

blood donated by Oklahomans stays in Oklahoma!

OBI horz

Sadly a few months ago a boy in our school community was diagnosed with cancer. On February 11th, Jake was diagnosed with a type of Non-Hodgkin Lymphoma called Burkitts Lymphoma, stage 4. It is the most aggressive form of cancer but has an encouraging survival rate of 75-90% after 5 years remission. His mother was my son’s teacher last year, and they have 4 children. Her other son is in the same class with my son. His mom started this blog to keep everyone infomed of what is going on with Jake and his cancer treatments. Here is one of her recent posts:

img_0276“Jake is on day 6 of this round of chemo. He is becoming increasingly tired and tummy sick, but the effects of the chemotherapy are remaining manageable.

His immune system is continuing to fall away, expecting to be at a zero tomorrow. Then, we will pray for continued quiet and boring days. Days full of bedside word searches, movie marathons, and take-out requests.

Jake’s chemo plan intends for his immune system to remain depleted for the next 15 days, a time we will all be holding our breath. The risks are endless during that time…but so is the hope.”

Please click the link below to read more about their journey…

Jake’s Play Book

Reading the email from the head of school about Jake’s diagnosis caused a flood of tears from parents. One of the best parts of being part of a small tight knit school is that we all know each other, and we are like family. The entire school has banded together to pray, help, and lift this family up. The philosophy and educational approach they teach at Riverfield School is called Reggio Emilia. Reggio Emilia’s tradition of community support for families with young children expands as the collective responsibility. Parents are a vital component to this philosophy. Parents are viewed as partners, collaborators, and advocates for their children.

Riverfield Country Day School

Reggio Emilia Approach

Jake has had several blood transfusions. In order for him to get the blood he needs to help him beat this cancer, we must donate blood. The Oklahoma Blood Institute (OBI) heavily relies on volunteers  in Oklahoma to help those in need. OBI provides every drop of blood for patients in 90% of hospitals in Oklahoma. Seeing the struggle, pain, and stress this family has endured while keeping positive and smiling should be a compelling enough reason to donate. If you need another reason, there are many benefits for donors. For example, a health screening that includes cholesterol and blood pressure checks is required. Donors are also eligible for incentives such as FREE zoo passes and various giveaways.

Hey, Parents, did you hear that?! FREE STUFF! We need to get people to understand the importance of donating blood to those in need in our community. We can set an example for our children. None of us know the path we will take. That is up to GOD. But if we find ourselves or our children in need of blood, you know you would go to the ends of the Earth to get it for them.

I need to back up what I am preaching, so I went to donate. You can click the link below to find a community donor center. If you would, please tell them you read this, and that “Just Happy Mommy” encouraged you to donate. Many affected would appreciate it.

Oklahoma Blood Institute

Give Blood. Save Lives. YouTube Video

If you feel touched by the Flowers family and Jake’s story the family has a account set up if you would like to donate to help them with their medical expenses. Any form of positive energy is welcomed to help them on this tough road to beat his cancer.
Flowers Family Fundraiser
Together as a stong community we can help those in need, through blood donations to OBI, dontations to the Flowers family or prayers of healing. 
Go in your child’s room and watch them sleep. Look at their sweet, innocent face as they breathe in and out and their minds dance off to dream land. Stop and cherish this moment. We only have one life and remember we all bleed the same color.
XOXO
Just Happy Mommy
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