Month: April 2016

Plans

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Plans 

Why do we make plans?

We aren’t promised tomorrow or next week or even next year. 

Plans make me happy and plans make me cringe. 

“So what’s your plan?”

We have been hearing this question for a majority of our lives.

“Where do you plan to go to college?”

“What’s your plan after college?”

“Where do you plan to live?”

“Do you plan on getting married?”

“Do you plan on having kids?”

“Do you have a retirement plan?”

“Health care plan?”

And it all comes full circle again when you are a mom… “Where are your kids going to school? What’s your plan?” We all have a calendar full of activities, events, parties and obligations. 

I always had a plan. I was a go getter as long as I could get sleep and some cocktails. As a young journalist you take any job you can get in tv. Then you fake it till you make it. In my case the job was assignment editor. What you ask? Exactly. Think of it like the air traffic controller of a newsroom. You don’t care about them until they F$&@ up or until you have to fill in for them. Basically you plan the news for a living. I made it my plan to master this position and I ended up making it my bitch! RIP deuce desk 

I knew I was going to get married at 25 and I did. I wanted to have kids at the exact same ages my mom did 29, 32, and I did. Who knows maybe we will have #3 in 5 years hubby LOL! He’s done I’m still open to the plan. I knew I wanted to be a mommy and raise my family in Tulsa. Always liked the idea of moving away but it’s never gonna happen. 

So Here’s the deal. Plans are bullshit. We plan and plan and then plan the plan. Since becoming a mom I have started to sometimes loathe plans. Simple example, kids get sick. Can’t plan that. Although I can usually predict it because we will have some BIG plans it could potentially ruin. Case and point this week. We are leaving for the beach at the end of this week. We have planned this for months and it is a much needed getaway for all. 

Come on robbers hope you like stealing dishes in the sink, clothes from old navy and mountains of laundry. My husband always says I should not post that we are out of town for fear we get robbed. But I say the most valuable things we have is our kids and yes we are taking them to the beach too! It’s a family vaycay. 

    
Our little boy has a compromised immune system (for any new readers) and has extreme allergies to food and the environment. So today I took him to see our sweet pediatrician because he has been coughing and breathing rapidly, congested and feverish. We decided since we are leaving town and our deposit is NON refundable,  we better check everything off the list. 
So we took chest X-rays, nasal swab for flu and throat swab for strep. NO fever, no flu, no strep. Chest X-ray not so good. She called it fluffy. Possibly the start of pneumonia. If you have never experienced a child getting a chest X-ray it is like a mid evil torture device. The tears stream and baby cries mommy until it’s over. As a mom this is one of the worst sounds. 

  
This evening daddy comes home with a bag full of drugs (costing more than my car payment) and we begin our new plan. Our new normal. I will be administrating breathing treatments everyday even after he is done being sick and finished the antibiotics. 

   
 A mother never plans for her baby to be sick. A baby who is sick has got to be the saddest and most painful thing. And for a mom who helplessly tells them it’s going to be ok and begging to God to help her child or take their place, it is exhausting. 

I see this in my own mother. She shows so much grace and strength while helping me and telling me it will be ok. All the while I know her aching heart yearns for her baby girl to get better. Your baby is your baby. Whether they are 18 months or 31 years they are still your baby after all. Our health is our wealth. 

Please click below to learn more about food allergies.

Living with food allergies 

As people we are taught to follow a plan. We thrive on plans. We have safety plans.We have goals. We have agendas. We have tasks, events, celebrations and expectations and obligations. 

I kinda hate the saying “it’s always something.” It comforted me until recently. I know we all have pain, triumphs, struggles and things going on. But when someone says “it’s always something,” isn’t that just a nice way of saying tough shit move on?!? Or am I my usual sensitive Sally?!?

I think I have fallen short on some of my promises I made in my first blog posts. I promise to keep it real. Well here’s the real deal I can’t do it all. I can’t be a super me! Everyday I try to get up and be the super mom and a super wife and super friend and super daughter and super sister.  

Thing is I’m exhausted and need to realize over and over that

 I am enough. 

Just me being me. 

I can’t plan for everything that gets thrown in my way. 

I really admire other moms and bloggers who really have their shit together. Pretty Instagram pictures, lighting, poses and real posts. I have ideas and try, but fail miserably. 

I want to keep hustling my blog, my brand and make extra money for my family. That’s why I took this picture tonight. If you can’t plan your posts to promote yourself and your business then do it all in one. I’m a wife, mommy, writer, hustler and swag lover! I hope this makes you chuckle 😂 links below

  

Like I planned on posting about my 60 day beach body reveal well here is the reveal!
I didn’t change shit and I look the same. Chips and salsa erryday! Mommy pops, donuts, smoothies and currently a big bowl of spaghetti! 😂😂😂🍷🌮🌶🍩🍝

  
I wanted to do a cute pinteresty post about how to perfectly pack the family for a beach vacation. At this point we will be lucky if we get to go. I’ve gotten this far… I love this plan from Pinterest and 

40 Beach Tips & Tricks
  

So I sit in the bathtub with my wine and baby monitor on full blast and think I hate plans but I know I need them. 

I hope & pray everyone stays safe during these storms. It is important to have a safety plan in case of a tornado. 

Xoxo

Just happy mommy 

Swag photo cred: Hubby and links below 

Fabulous Earrings by Abby Sparks
Lip Sense Lip Gloss
My IT WORKS!
Mom Life Tee & Sunnies

Breakdown. Breakthrough. Repeat

I LOVE the movie Jerry Maguire. I know every word, every look, every song! One of my favorite scenes is when he writes his memo in the middle of the night. He’s in the zone writing passionately and so proud of his “Breakdown or Breakthrough?!”  

  
I feel like everyday/week/month/years I go through a series of breakdowns and breakthroughs. Albeit some are small and no big deal, while others tear at my heart and weigh on my mind. 

My life is never boring. I always feel like I need to explain why I share this stuff. It’s Simple; to connect and let people know they are not alone in this crazy mommy world. 

I will not backtrack but just a little glimpse into a typical week. Last Thursday my car literally breaks down at work. It overheated with 2 barefoot, no napped, little boys inside. While we were waiting on daddy to come to the rescue they were running around Posh (the super cute boutique where I work)

POSH Tulsa Link
   
   
Then I Breakdown crying because my sissy is going back into the hospital. Her poor body and spirit are struggling and breaks my heart to see her in pain and sad with no real treatment plan. But my boys give her the best medicine there is! 

  
 
That same evening we have an awesome Breakthrough at swim lessons, baby brother is jumping in with no fear. Over and over. He was so happy and holding his breath and showing off his adorable toothy grin! 

Then I changed what I thought was a wet diaper to have a steaming cow patty turd fall on my foot. I took a picture but I will spare you the graphic content. I can’t make this shit up! Sorry can’t resist a good pun 😂😆💩🙈

Breakthrough I survived a super packed Saturday, 3 events: baby sprinkle, bloggers brunch & grand reopening at Posh. Then I took the boys to visit my grandma and play outside.  

    

   
  
That evening we had dinner with our best friends with 5 kids under 5. As I lay my head down, little bro starts crying and breathing fast and coughing. Albuterol treatment begins… Ahhhh those innocent hands  

 Breakthrough Sunday, I finally got to sleep in, well after getting up in the night. But still my body slept thru the screaming, fighting, and cartoons. Dad goes for a run. I go for a run. Dad leaves to go to the office. I load the boys up in the rain to go to Target. We had a great time. We 3 musketeers love Target. Who would have known that a sparkle bouncy ball in the $1 section is the most prized possession of all?! Winning!

  
Drop off the baby and groceries. (I think I got some food. haha) 
On to the next. A birthday party for a school mate at the bounce house place. I think “Sweet! They will wear him out and feed him. He will be ready for bath and bed when we get home.” Oh slow your roll there, Little Mama. Not so fast. I thought I would survive a 2 hour party. No, no, no. Total meltdown as we are leaving, complete with laying on the sidewalk screaming and crying over playing light sabers with their new bubble wands and some devil skittles arcade game. Brattastic voyage home.  This is how we wrap birthday presents when we are out of scotch tape 🙈😁

 Here is where the breakdowns and breakthroughs collide. We live in a small house. 1,500 sq ft is small for 4 humans and all of their crap that has accumulated over 10 plus years together and enough clothing to cover an entire small country. America the land of excess. 

  Anyway, when one of the boys gets up crying in the middle of the night, it usually wakes the other one up. Case in point: this morning. My littlest one woke up from the thunderstorms and just wanted me to hold him. Then he sucked down 3 apple sauce pouches at 3:13am. This is pretty normal. Unfortunately, because of his allergies, he is limited to what he can eat so I’m always going to fed him whenever he is hungry. He is below 10% when it comes to his weight. So it’s kinda like I’m still getting up for an overnight feeding except I’m not nursing. 

  
But when the big brother hears us and gets up and wants to cuddle on the couch, this is where it gets tricky. They want me all the time. I love it. But when they want to start fighting and playing on top of me at 4am, I’m thinking “OK, guess I need to start the coffee.” A smoothie and veggie sticks later I think little man might go down without a fight. Big bro has chowed down 2 mini bagels and cream cheese and is on episode 3 of paw patrol.

 As I see the sky turn from black to navy I know there are 2 ways this can go. Either we go to bed and try to get an hour or 2 before school or we are up for the day screwing up naps and mixing up days and nights. 

My husband says this is my fault because I cater to their every whim. OK. Yes, I do. So I find myself either sleeping in my sons twin bed with him or on the couch.  

  My mind is racing or I’m blogging this to you and thinking “I should have gone for a run or to the gym.” Hahaha Nah I’ve got a good 12-16 hour day ahead of me. All in good time, my pretty, all in good time. 
You know how most moms, myself included, really loathe unsolicited advice. Like “Bitch, you don’t know my life or my kids. Thanks. I appreciate it. I will put them to bed earlier and make sure they get an organic meal and wear matching pjs.” Ok bye 

I’ve run myself into the ground with worry over my family. Some people know what that is like, and others will never understand until they live it. 

I think my breakdowns are my breakthroughs. 

Little by little I see that those times and doors are closing in on me. I need to cherish being able to hold both my boys on the couch. Be thankful I get to sing them both to sleep each night. The days of requesting rocking chairs, scratching backs and cuddles are numbered. I will be craving this before I know it.

It’s also comforting to know that this is nothing new or different. It’s mom life. We all have these mornings, and it’s nice to know we aren’t alone. I read an article the other night that was talking about parenting in past generations. It was really great but I found myself angry at the end. Comparisons suck. Earlier generations didn’t have access to all of this technology and they didn’t live in fear everyday. I wish I could let my boys play outside. Hell, in the front yard, without me. But it’s not gonna happen. I wish I wasn’t glued to my phone and feeling the need to connect with strangers over my own family. 

The world has gone through a breakdown. A breakdown of connections. I just hope we can breakthrough and find each other once again. 
Xoxo
Just happy mommy 

Waiting for the other shoe to drop

Waiting for the other shoe to drop

I use this saying all the time and almost everyone knows what it means but I decided to look it up anyway. 

Definition
A common experience of living in apartment-style housing in New York City, and other large cities, during the manufacturing boom of the late 19th and early 20th centuries. Apartments were built, similar in design, with the bedrooms located directly above and underneath one another. Thus, it was normal to hear a neighbor removing their shoes in the apartment above. As one shoe made a sound hitting the floor, the expectation for the other shoe to make a similar sound was created.

Verb
wait for the other shoe to drop
(idiomatic) To defer action or decision until another matter is finished or resolved.

(idiomatic) To await a seemingly inevitable event, especially one that is not desirable 

It’s kinda like when you got your shit together and have a moment of “yep it’s going too good”. The anticipation of what happens is waiting for the next shoe to drop. 
I am superstitious. I get it from my Papa. I know there is no such thing, but still my mind will say, “Dammit! I jinxed myself.” 
I have lots of examples of this so, please let me indulge you. 

The last few days I have had my super mom cape on and kicking ass at mom life! 

Friday the boys and I had a friend over to try out some new lip gloss. It’s called lip sense and I thought ok what the hell. I love me a good lipgloss! It was so cool and we had a blast. The boys loved her and I love my new everyday color called first love. It doesn’t come off, it’s all natural and I am so excited I got it today! Find her on Facebook Kiss Proof Kisses and tell her you saw it on Just happy mommy  😘💄💋

This is with NO makeup. My before, then after lip color, then with gloss and still perfect even after swim lessons! 

  
Then Saturday we had my cousins wedding which was lovely and great to see my cousins. 

Then Sunday we relaxed and went shopping at trader joes OMG obsessed and so happy they have one in Tulsa now. I waited a month but it was still a zoo! My mom and I ran over to Nordstrom rack and old navy to get some cute beach gear for our trip in 24 days! Bow chic a bow wow! Holler ED vaycay 2016!  

 Yesterday Our AC was broken so a sweet friend helped me out (shout out to said friend,) and a repair man was there in less than an hour! Boom! Then I had to take my son to school, then take the baby to my moms, then off to the dentist to get 4 fillings. OUCH! Back to pick up the baby, then pickup at school then off to SAMs to get a few things, go thru the car wash oh ya and clean, vacuum and mop my house all before 6:30pm when friends were arriving for my first wrap party! Finally got in bed by 10pm. Booya! 

Just Happy Mommy It Works
So today feeling pretty proud of all I had accomplished, I had a pep in my step. We made it out the door to school and then to visit my BFF, drop off some yummy food and stare at her beautiful week old baby girl. Of course we had some coffee talk. (In the mike Myers voice). It was a perfect morning!

  
 Then little man and I went to my parents’ to go for a walk. My mom is my soulmate. We are there for one another and know each other better than ourselves. I told her, after bitching about something, “But you know what? We are healthy. We haven’t had to use an epipen in a while.” And as soon as I said it, I thought “MFer! I should not have said that for fear of jinxing my streak of good luck with no allergy attacks!” After our walk, little man had some red bumps on his face and he was rubbing his eyes. I immediately thought there it is. The other shoe dropped. He’s going to have a reaction. (Also just to note: this is where he had his first anaphylactic reaction so I’m on high alert.) We washed his swollen face off and I got him some Benadryl and decided to get him home and give him steroids. I called my husband, who was home for lunch, and he had the medicine ready as soon as I screeched in the doorway. 

I left my parent’s house just praying to God to keep my baby safe. I kept reaching my hand back into his car seat so he would grab my fingers with his little hand. I would shake them and then he would squeeze my finger back. We did this the entire ride home. For anyone in a health or dangerous situation car rides are hell and seem like every brake light is another breath taken for granted.

  We are home now, and he is sleeping. I have the monitor on full blast. I walk in to watch him breathing every few minutes. I overreacted this time. The last couple times I have been so calm and just gave him Benadryl and a bath. But today I thought “OK, bitch nuts, it’s on.  We have been too lucky, and Since I got cocky with saying no epipens, it was on.” I am so thankful that he is OK and just very congested. 
I am almost certain it is something outside. This time of year, in Oklahoma especially, allergies are at the all time high. When I was at the TV station, I remember that Tulsa is one of the worst cities in the US for asthma and allergies. I love living in green country but, I hate seeing my baby struggle to breath and my big boy getting shiners under his eyes from the high pollen count. 

Anyway, we think we got our shit together, and then we don’t. Sometimes the shoe drops, and sometimes it doesn’t. But the knowing things are too good to be true and the anticipation of knowing something will go wrong in the future is what causes me anxiety. I for one have to force myself to live for today. I cannot control what happens. God is in control, and I have to trust in Him to take care of me, my babies, and my loved ones. Good things happen and bad things happen. Life isn’t fair and it’s all about perspective and being thankful. 
Seeing my friend’s new baby girl this morning and having a few minutes to talk, just us girls, just us moms, is a gift I cherish. 
I always check FB and Instagram when the boys are napping or having quiet time, and a sweet friend of mine posted this on my timeline.
Why being a mom is just enough 
Tears streamed down my face as I read this. It was just what I needed. Me taking care of my boys and giving them the time, love and attention they need and deserve is enough. They make my world go round. 

 We survived swim lessons and both boys loved it except for this one comment. I was running after little brother while big bro had his lesson. He was ready to jump in! A mom watching me run back and forth says “this is when you lose the baby weight.” 

Ummmm I’m sorry what?!?! I thought “Wtf lady?! ”  I wanted to say “Oh I’ve already lost my baby weight and guess what I’m going to Wendy’s after this bitch!” I Obvi didn’t say that but you bet your sweet ass I got a spicy chicken sandwich! Insert Wendy’s ad here 

  So Im hanging up my proverbial super mom cape tonight. Wednesday is our no plans, no pants, PJ day, and I intend to enjoy it fully and completely with my little humans.

Xoxo

Just happy mommy