Mommy Says Bad Words

You know why Mommy says bad words? Because she can no longer live in the fantasy world of no cussing. After only 4 years of parenting and 2 kids I have reached the “I don’t give a s***,” Mommy says bad words, level. 

In my very first blog post I promised a few things, one of which was to offend people. So I use curse words which is taboo language and considered offensive and innapropriate. Well I can be both of those things so hence why I enjoy cussing. 

If you don’t cuss well congrau****lations. Stop reading.

I love Jesus, but I cuss a little. This is not one of my faith filled posts. 

Over the holiday break my older son kept telling me, “Mommy you are on the naughty list because you say bad words.”  I responded with, “yes, yes I am, I’m sorry, I will try to do better.” Trying to set an example and clean up my potty mouth especially since I tell him not to say bad words. Do as I say, not as I do mantra. After 2 weeks together, hardly leaving the house, and everyone being sick, I lost it.

We had stopped at Whole Foods to get the baby allergy friendly food and a slice of pizza for brother. On the way home he asked to listen to the ‘Grinch’ song, then he wants to watch ‘Elf’ the movie. Mind you I am driving, but like many moms I have mastered the keeping your child happy while traveling is key, albeit unsafe. We were almost home and he says “mom the volume, I cant hear it.” As I turned I hit a HUGE pothole, the kind that could easily pop a tire. His pizza went flying to the floor and he started crying. I lost it. I said “F#$% YOUR PIZZA!!!”

I immediately apologized then I realized I created that little angel/monster. The one in the back seat that wants to hear his jams and watch a movie on a 10 minute ride home while eating a $4 slice of organic pizza!!!

We got home and I explained to him why mom got upset. Finally I said “honey that is just who I am.” Surprisingly he said “that’s ok Mommy, I love you just the way you are.” WOW. Ok cool.  

Saying a cuss word is better than throwing something or acting out in anger right?!

There is new scientific evidence out there that people who cuss have better vocabulary, are more attractive and have less stress… I don’t know if I believe it but HELL I will take it. Here are a few of the articles that back up this amazing claim.

So why do I cuss and other people do NOT? Well, believe it or not I grew up in a strict household. I got my mouth washed out with soap several times. Enough to remember it was not worth saying bad words. My mom doesn’t cuss and my father is an attorney, haha nuff said. My mom is a straight arrow republican and my dad is a hippie democrat. I think my siblings and I had the best of both growing up. We all took manners classes and cotillion. But we were not overly censored on what we watched or the music we listened to. 

I minded my P’s and Q’s until college and then I went loco in the cabeza. My husband is always getting on to me about my bad language. 

I own who I am and being a mom doesn’t change the fact that I cuss and I enjoy it. I know it is frowned upon in general and is extremely frowned upon to cuss on social media. I think the reason is because we are trying to be the best versions of ourselves on fake book yet we should strive to be our authentic selves. I will always try and tame my taboo words around others but I also think teaching my kids self expression and real life language is my perogative. 

Here are a few examples of why I cuss…

When you go check on your kid in the bathroom to find the sink overflowing, the toilet clogged and soap all over the mirror, I say WTF?!

When you see your child falling in slow mo and hit their head and you can’t quite get there in time to prevent the injury, I say S***!

When your kid wakes you up and says any of the following… “I peed my bed, I’m hungry, I don’t feel good, or just wake up and it is still dark outside, I say DA**it! 

When you are in the checkout line at the grocery store and you go to pay and realize that you do not have any form of payment because the baby got into your purse and threw your cards somewhere, so you leave with nothing but an empty cart and kids crying and screaming “the food, we need the food, I’m starving, mommy we need the food,” like we cant afford it and I am starving my kids. Meanwhile people are wide eyed and gawking. I want to look back at them and say do you think these clean, well dressed, adorable boys are mistreated or malnourished!??! I want to say “**** no!  So stop judging me you a**holes.”

I asked my son how he feels when I say bad words he said “Mommy I want you to be happy. Can you do that for me mommy? Just Be Happy.” 

Well Damn. Out of the mouth of babes. 

Just Happy Mommy