Coco Chanel mademoiselle is my signature scent. I have worn it since my PiPhi days at OU. I used to go through a BIG bottle of it each year and would be anxiously waiting until Christmas time to get a new one from my parents or inlaws.  I have tried others but nothing compares to the way this scent makes me feel. When I smell this I feel fun and confident and it makes me remember the wild before kids party days. It sticks with you. I can smell it on my coats and scarves. Most of my friends even say it reminds them of me when they smell it. These days I don’t wear it much because I don’t go to work, meetings, lunches, happy hours or bar hopping. What I used to practically bathe in, or use to cover up sin and cigarette smoke, is now randomly sprayed when we go to the pediatrician, parent teacher conference or on a rare date night. .

I love how memories are attached to certain smells and sounds. When I smell onions cooking it reminds me of my Nana. When I smell wintergreen it takes me back to my dads 1980s white Porsche, we called it the zoom zoom car because we could hear him coming home from a mile away. And the smells and sounds of Christmas time always makes me smile.

This time of year is my favorite, like many people in the world. Giving thanks for our blessings and the celebration of God’s son Jesus being born! We all get a Twitter and in a tizzy about the holidays and I am no exception. The calendar is filling up, budgeting and I’m trying really hard to keep calm and realistic expectations. We can’t go to every party and we can’t buy everyone a gift.

Our 3.5 year old says he wants every single toy that pops up in a commercial on TV, even the girl toys. I remind him that we can’t have everything and he should think about what he would  enjoy the very most. We have implemented the “Elf on the Shelf” a little early and it is really helping. His name is T-Rex the Elf and he is ALWAYS watching and reporting to Santa. Clearly the American way is more, more, more and yet most of the time we are not satisfied. I want to make sure my kids have everything they need and want and that is my time and attention.

The past couple of days we haven’t left the house. Not because of illness but because we finally didn’t have any plans. I cooked and the boys and I ate all 3 meals together, which is a rarity. Both boys love breakfast sausage and ate an entire roll in 2 days! We baked sugar cookies, played with Play Doh and listened to Christmas music on Pandora. We danced around and laughed until it was naptime. I stayed in my robe until 2 or 3pm. I think I have cuddled and kissed them more than I did last week. At first I felt guilty that we didn’t do anything. No play dates, no errands, but then I thought “why am  I torturing myself about plans?” This is what it’s about, staying home with my babies. I want to make memories with them. Maybe breakfast sausage and Christmas music will make them think of me.

So tonight I looked around at all the toys on the floor, the cookie cutters in the sink and the laundry on the couch and walked away and took my bath. Afterward, I sprayed a bit of my Coco on my robe to remind myself that I’m still here, maybe not the old me, but the Just Happy Mommy version. This year my bottle is still 1/2 full and I won’t need a replacement at Christmas. But I get to keep that piece of me and make the important memories with the little loves of my life.