Gratitude

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Gratitude

I’ve been working on taking time to really soak up life’s moments. I love traveling with the boys at these ages. Its almost like the sweet spot of childhood. They are a little more self sufficient (no diapers, bottles or cribs), they actually want to hangout with us and they are discovering the world with innocent eyes.

This past weekend we went glamping with some of our neighbors. It’s a new Labor Day weekend tradition for us, to close out summer with our village. Even with Covid and the pandemic concerns we decided we needed this time together. Time to get outside and enjoy some family time. Also, the fact that we reserved this place almost a year in advance and there were no refunds. So off we went to Gore, Oklahoma to Marval Resort.

Each year the kids from Woodfield put on a talent show called, “Woodfield’s Got Talent.” Last year we were audience members. But this year, this year, we had been talking about the talent show months in advance.

When we were in California this summer Perry and Roman stayed the night with Uncle PJ and Aunt Robinne at their home. PJ and Robinne planned a special movie night for the boys. Space Jam had just been released and their outdoor movie theater set up looked like a Pinterest post. They had all the Perry safe foods and even had an old time hotdog roller grill, popcorn machine and all the candy and pops the boys could eat!

My brother is a trained musician for those that don’t know. And we of course think he’s a rockstar. That being said, Uncle PJ loves music so that night, Perry sang his song, “Talking to the Moon,” by Bruno Mars outside on their patio. They live in a magical place, Laurel Canyon, where so many other great musicians once lived and played. We told them about the talent show and how Perry should sing. Perry is shy and humble but honestly quite good for a 6 year old. PJ and Robinne agreed he should sing in the talent show. How cool is it to have your family support your dreams?

Fast forward to last night. We were nearing the end of the afternoon at the river and several of the older kids had secured the stage for 6pm. Perry was very nervous. He said several times, “no I can’t, I’m too nervous.” We all encouraged him. And when I say we all, I mean all the other kids and parents.

Uncle PJ even called me to wish Perry good luck. PJ shared how incredibly special his first performance was and how he wished he could go back and relive his first show. He told me that there are so many emotions, fear, adrenaline, excitement and insecurity just to name a few.

I don’t know about you, but the only crowds I would perform in front of were my parents. And our den fireplace was my stage.

Now, it was Perry’s turn. He slowly made his way up on stage. The stage managers and older kids flanked the stage and the music began. I had butterflies in my stomach. Seeing my little baby up on stage made my heart race.

And he sang. He sang with his soft sweet voice with one front tooth missing. He stood with confidence not wavering. It was so pure and so innocent it made several of us tear up. The crowd cheered him on. Encouraging whoops and yeahs followed by clapping and howls, “yeah Pear Bear!!” He sang the whole song and when he was finished the crowd went wild.

He ran off stage and into my arms it was one of the best moments of my life. And hopefully one of his too. It is something I will never forget. I am crying tears of gratitude as I write. Proud doesn’t even describe it. And I didn’t even have my phone to record it. Thank you to my village for capturing Perry’s performance. I hope this is just the beginning. I see so many BIG things happening in Perry’s life. He is special. And how lucky am I to always have a front row seat cheering him on? He knows I’ll be waiting in the wings to hug him and tell him how proud I am to be his mama.

I’m taking the time to stop and enjoy my kids. They can show us how to be fearless. My gratitude grows each day that I can stop, be in the moment and reflect on these times. Because even tho we are all growing older the memories can remain fresh and vivid in our minds. And I never want to forget last night. I’m forever grateful for my family and my people.

“Every day I bless my life by counting my blessings.”- Oprah

Back by Social Demand

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Ok I am ripping off the band aid. I am blogging by social demand. BAHAHA! Just kidding, I want to start sharing my life again. That is what a blog is, sharing your life on social media networks and the internet. I love to share. Some people are private. Some people just like to watch and others are HUGE bloggers and influencers.

Just to be clear I am NOT a millennial who decided to create a blog and become an influencer to make money. I am a XENNIAL and proud of it. Xennials are described as having had an analog childhood and a digital adulthood. Basically we grew up in simpler times but know how to live in a digital age. (1970s- early 1980s)

Blogging and becoming an Influencer just came to me, I never forced it. I love to write and share. I am thankful for the little moments of success that have come out of this experiment of mine.

Why did I stop blogging? I wrote a post about racism and it caused turmoil between me, my husband and his father and his new wife. We had not spoken in years as a result of my blog and exchanging of words on the phone and in emails. It literally shook our world and made me re-evaluate everything, so much so that I questioned everything I ever wrote. It broke me. I pray that we can resolve our issues.

Our second son started having more issues. Issues directly and indirectly related to his food allergies. After weeks of staying home with limited outings, I was crumbling and desperate for help and answers. I researched veraciously and listened to 3 audible books. Let me explain. He would have uncontrollable tantrums because of his carseat, his clothing and shoes. He would scream and cry to the point of almost vomiting. If you have ever heard the term blackout it was like that. He was so distraught from having to be restrained and wear clothing that he would attack me and go berserk and not even recall his actions.

He was finally diagnosed with Sensory Processing Disorder, exclusively touch. He was tested on the Autism spectrum. We had meetings with our pediatrician, allergist and a friend who is our occupational therapist, who helped diagnose him. Thankfully he is ok. He never hurt himself, me or anyone too badly, mostly scratching and kicking.

But, it was crippling for us to go through. We could barely make it to school, let alone birthday parties or a road trip. We purchased more carseats, more clothes, more shoes, bribery, cuddles, naps etc. And this is why our almost 5 year old still has a pacifier. I broke down one morning desperate for him to stop screaming, crying and go to school. We walked into Walgreens and I reintroduced the pacifier to him. I was possibly the best and worst decision I have made as a mom.

This post is not for sympathy but just more for my loyal readers understanding. Food allergies are real. They are a real pain, scary and super hard. Then add on this other layer of sensory processing disorder. I was on my knees praying for help, understanding and guidance. Thank you to my older son, husband, mom, dad, sis and close friends who witnessed and experienced his outbursts, freak outs and still love us despite our issues.

The reason I decided to coach his tee-ball team was because I wanted to be in control of the team, because some people do not understand that these are real issues. When I say extreme food allergies, I mean by death by air, touch, or ingestion. Unfortunately, food allergies and other serious conditions are real.  I am determined to let my child experience life no matter what his challenges are.

Here is a senario for you: It is time for school, you lay out your kids clothes and they immediately start screaming and throwing things at you. Saying “I dont like this, this is too tight, I dont like this” etc. So, you give them more options. After 15-30 minutes of tantrums, negotiations and the rest, it is time to get in the car. We do not even attempt socks at this point, just shoes. Sometimes you get to leave the driveway sometimes you don’t. Anyway it is still an issue. I will share more scenarios later.

All the while my sister is declining and I do not want to share. I feel reclusive and not wanting to write, or share, I feel defeated. In retrospect, I was in self protection mode. Focusing on what really matters, my family. I did not need to explain myself but those are the reasons I felt I could no longer give anymore to this platform.

I feel more confident now. I still struggle everyday with depression and anxiety. These are things that some people can overcome. I feel like these issues are something I choose daily to succumb to or overcome. Despite these tough times I know more people are dealing with more than me and so I feel guilty that I am not able to help others.

Thank you for reading this post. I love you all and I look forward to sharing more every Tuesday at 9pm just like I used to. If it isn’t broken, dont try to fix it. For anyone who is struggling, it is ok, it is ok to stop, breathe, take a minute or a few months to reevaluate what you want to do. This is your life and I appreciate all of you that can understand, empathize or just plain care.

Remember life is too wonderful to get you down for too long. Whatever you are going through, whatever trials and tribulations you are having it’s hard. You have to fight for your happiness!  Try to adjust your lense to see the good in every day and be thankful for those little victories no matter how small they might be to you, they might make a world of difference to someone else.

XOXO
Just Happy Mommy

 

 

Ying and Yang

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The ying to my yang. I always say that my husband and I are very different and we balance each other out. So, the ying to each other’s yang, if you will.

As stated in previous posts, I am spiritual and I also believe in karma. The balance of the universe compels me.

The last 24 hours is a wonderful example of this. Like if things feel too good to be true, just wait and something will happen to smack you back down to earth.

Like most nights, the boys wanted to snuggle, cuddle and sleep with me. I was wiped out after my family came over for Sunday dinner, so I indulged them after a couple books and songs and laid down in the bottom bunk twin bed. These bunk beds have been passed down from my mother and siblings to my sister and I and now to our boys. I fell asleep with them and my husband woke me up. And as I got up and turned around I saw the boys sleeping on each other so sweetly.DC464533-2EEA-4C25-944D-682525F81770

This has literally NEVER happened. They both love each other but more the rough, tough, antagonistic, arguing, screaming, fighting and crying kind of brotherly love. So of course I snapped a picture and dozed off to sleep in my bed.

Now comes the yang. Just after midnight I am jolted awake by the sound of thunderous feet stampeding down the stairs like a herd of elephants. Both boys half asleep crying and rattling on about some nonsense. So I threw the older one into my side of the bed and calmed the sleep walking night terror 3 year old back to bed. I don’t know if your kids can “smell you,” but mine can sniff me out.

Also the kicking and sleep talking is enough to drive one mad. So I snuck into the guest room not long followed by the baby wolf who noticed I had left his den. Needless to say I didn’t get much sleep. But seeing them in a sweet slumber is what makes all this craziness worth it. The special moments that become the ying to the mother f$&@ing yang.

After the morning routine, bus stop and drop off at nursery school, I scooped up my BFF who is in town for thanksgiving. We went to a hip cool and new-ish workout place REVVD and got our cardio strength training on. Then we went to Ediblend a local, fresh and delicious superfood cafe in Utica Square. My husband met us and we each enjoyed a healthy treat. Next we ventured off to Madewell, West Elm, Starbucks, Snowgoose, Loft and finally it was time for the best f$&@ing day ever to end.

Today was a day that I day dream about often. Spending time with a BFF one on one. Catching up, working out, drinking coffee, shopping, eating healthy foods, laughing and being outside in our hometown. Even while trying on clothes I said “this is like the best f$&@ing day ever. I mean besides my children being born and getting married of course. LOL!”

No, but seriously, something so simple became so HUGE. It is the simple things that mean the most and that is quality time with the ones who mean the most to you. Isn’t that what we teach our kids. And isn’t that what the holidays are meant to represent?

If there was one thing i had to accomplish it was buying the thanksgiving turkey. I had put it off long enough and it was 1.5 hours until pick up. So off I go to get the holiday bird and a few other things on my list. Of course they only had small ones and instead of reserving my turkey online or calling around I just got 2 small turkeys Incase I couldn’t find another gluten free, fancy organic bird. They assured me I could return them even tho I have never returned food before. Low and behold the other Whole Foods did have a larger bird and agreed to let me exchange them. Great I said “I’m on my way!”

I had picked up my younger son and knew I had a small window of time before the bus arrived. So we stopped to get this self inflicted turkey fiasco under control.

Well here comes the yang! After the best day and way too much happiness the year old tantrum bomb is ignited and this was epic. Putting his cowboy boots on him was apparently as painful as jalapeño juice in your eye and genitals. This sent the human into a full blow screaming fit of rage which I wanted to record so badly but it was not safe. He went snow angel on me in the middle of the concrete parking lot.

I was calm and tried to wrangle him but then went limp noodle and the siren screams alarmed all shoppers. I should have just gotten back into the car but I persevered. I lugged a shoeless toddler and 2 petite Diestle turkeys back to Whole Foods. We walked in to a LOT of judgey McJudgersons which is always a treat.

Then he starts to wail about the Christmas tree display at the entrance. He was mad that I didnt stop and admire it with him. Then we get to the customer service desk where a woman offers him some free fruit to try and help appease him but to no avail he responds with shrill screams and shotgun tears of obvious mistreatment.

Then the purse. He spies an adorned and embroidered magenta purple clutch that apparently he just had to add to his wardrobe and wouldn’t let it go.

I made my way back to the deli and found the man I talked to on the phone. We moved away from other customers and I accidentally knocked into a display of fresh herbs (sage, rosemary and thyme) and they fell and spilled all over the floor. I’m holding back tears at this point. The tantrum is still continuing. I get the turkey and back to customer service to make the exchange. He continues on about the purse all the way to the car. I’m defeated, Exhausted and reminded.

Ya, ya, ya first world problems I know, don’t get me wrong I’m all the things #thankful #grateful #blessed but that doesn’t make the experience of dismantling a human grenade any easier.

I guess the truth is we have to have the yang to appreciate the ying or visa versa. So for that, I love it, all the ups and downs, the light and the dark.

To me being thankful means understanding what really matters and feeling happy for the simple moments that end up meaning the most in life.

So take the ying with the yang and always remember to look at the happy side of life. because it is over in a blink and before long I will be missing those nights together with my boys in the bunk beds and thinking I hear my babies crying only to find an empty nest.

Thanks for reading.
Xoxo
Just Happy Mommy

Moms are real life super heroes

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Since posting some before and after photos of our home on social media I have had an icky feeling. Kinda like false advertising. The blue paint is called “Salty Dog” and lets just say I deserve one of those cocktails after this week.

Sounds weird but I pride myself on not being one of those fluff bloggers. It is  like “Oh look at my perfectly clean, pretty house,” I will post these pictures so you all can see it on BRAGBOOK and InstaSHAM.

Let me be clear. I love my new home, I am proud of the hard work we paid someone else to do. BUT that is NOT my REAL LIFE! So let me just start out by saying I staged those pictures, I vacuumed, Windexed and tweaked while my little one took a nap. The journey to this place was not without some serious bumps and bruises, physically and emotionally.

I am NOT complaining. I am #thankful, #grateful, #blessed, we all are. Here is the behind the scenes shit most people do not want to tell you happens when you are doing work at your home with 2 young kids.

Where should I begin?

Monday-Tuesday

I get a call at the bus stop, my husband got locked in our son’s bedroom so I ran home to rescue him. Kinda funny but in hind sight totally not!

A/C Tech shows up and nothing is wrong with the units even though the house got to 82 over the weekend. Painters arrive late to start in the living room, entry and dining room. Electrician comes to install new chandelier and Nest Thermostat. All good things.

By the time my husband gets home it is 76 in the house. Hmmm is it the AC or the Thermostat? After an hour with Nest support we got the house to cool back down from 82. All of this sounds stupid and trivial but it needs to be explained to build up the ending of this post. Stay with me.

Wednesday in real time yesterday:

Normal day with a precocious and mischievous almost 3 year old.

He accidentally sprayed hairspray in his eyes while daddy was washing his hair.

He squirted apple sauce on the carpet (happens daily but still annoying).

Poops in the potty and drops one of my rings in the toilet lost in his loose stool. I will save you from posting the picture even tho I totally took one and sent it to a couple of lucky folks. Yep that is me fishing a ring out of diarrhea (apple sauce diet poops).

Getting more coffee, turn around and he has his daddy’s electric drill.

OMG like come on dude. Lets go play and cuddle, read books and draw on your new chalkboard wall. All the while he manages to color himself with the chalk. Go figure. NO NAP!

It’s almost time to go pick up Bubba from the bus stop. Big brother is 5, we have lived in our new house less than 2 months and since he rides the bus I walk him to and from everyday. Getting clothes on my NUDIST baby should be an olympic sport and the winner gets a trophy full of champs. As I am reaching for his undies he says in his cute, little, sweet, voice with a coy, sly smile,

“I locked us.”

NO YOU DID NOT!

nooooooo

OMG it is 3:04pm School gets out at 3:10pm and we live exactly 2 miles from school and 1 block from the bus stop which gives me like 10 minutes to get out of this room in time to get my older son from the bus stop on his 4th day of kindergarten.

OK stay calm. You got this, the painters are downstairs, just scream and they will come unlock the door.

Umm NO! I banged so hard on that door that I rattled the lightbulbs in the ceiling fan to off. Of course I tried to unlock it but this is a LEGIT needs a KEY lock not a use your finger nail or hanger style knob.

I tried not to panic. I was livid, exhausted and scared.

Why couldn’t the painters hear me?

So I decided to open the window and see if anyone of my brand new neighbors might hear me and they could easily walk in the open garage or front door past my ear budded painters and unlock the door. NO ONE is outside or NO ONE hears me. I feel like the dump truck in “The Little Blue Truck,” book “NO BODY HEARD or NO BODY CARED!”

After I climbed back in I called my husband like 3 times, NO answer! Finally I called my painter to call his guys downstairs to come help me. Still nothing.

Should I jump? NO way.

Could I hang on the gutter and do a Christmas Vacation? No that would NOT hold me and cause another home repair.

Could I get low enough to straddle the fence? NO not worth impaling my vaj.

I kept screaming for someone to open the door. I tried to unhinge the door but it would NOT budge.

Call the fire department? WTF are they gonna do? Comin in hot, march up the stairs to unlock a door. NO not this time sorry that is redic. NOT to mention I have had to call the fire department 3 times too many over the last 2 years which we wont discuss right now.

Ok some of you are prolly thinking why did you video this stuff. Mostly because if I told you this story you would not believe me and because my kids are so cute and sweet and blah blah blah.

They are cute and sweet and awesome but they also have these crazy streaks of evil in them that I think is also called a penis, I am not sure, but it drives women insane. They think things are funny that are not funny at all!! Case in point locking people in rooms.

So its 3:17.

I am gonna do it.

I am going to climb out of this window and jump off the roof.

I do NOT have any of the other bus stop moms phone numbers and none of my neighbors, painters down stairs or husband at work are able to help me.

My kindergartener would flip out if I was NOT at the bus stop not to mention how terrible would I feel if I was that mom on day 4 who just did NOT come to the bus stop. Ya Ya Ya I am sure another mom would help him out but I am too prideful and pissed off at this point so I just gonna do it. I start to pray to Jesus. Screaming prayers, thinking out loud, pumping myself up. Land on your feet and your a$$. Land on your feet and your a$$.

1uoeol

I jumped.

I jumped off the F@#$%ing roof.

I did land on my feet and my a$$ but the trajectory also flung my face into the Earth.

I got up immediately and looked to see if I was bleeding. Screaming and running around the back of the house to get my little boy who was still locked in his bedroom.

My painters see my grass covered face fly up the stairs and ask if I am ok. I went dark side of the moon scary on them.

“NO I AM NOT PHUCKING OKAY! I JUST JUMPED OFF THE ROOF. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?”

Think about the rage Regina George felt when she found out about the Kalteen bars.

regina

I get my baby out of the room and start to the bus stop. The painters are afraid for their lives as they should be. I went straight LOCO.

One of them gives me that “bitch is cray,” look and I said “oh don’t worry I am just fine. I just jumped off the BLEEEEEPig roof because none of you could “hear” me you ass hat.”

What is worse?

Getting locked in a room with NO ONE home?

….or someone home that doesn’t come to help you?

…or a child that thinks it is funny when mommy jumps out the window?

I am fine. I finally got my son at the bus stop after being a total hot mess at the bus stop. Somehow I was ok. Shaken, livid, and in shock…. but we all got home and went straight up stairs until daddy got home.

So you see, the pictures you see on BRAGBOOK AND INSTASHAM are just that, a fascade that we all like to imagine our lives being. So remember when you are looking through someone else’s perfectly Windexed window, know that there many be a real shit show going on behind those walls that is usually never told.

My husband always says “I do NOT know how you do it. I would jump through a window after taking care of these crazies.”

Well honey, now I can say I jumped off the roof and lived to tell about it. The boys now believe that I am a real life super hero. They call me Spider Mommy.

XOXO

Just Happy Mommy

PS I will be doing another post about all the different items in our home. Paint, furniture, accessories with all the links as soon as I can.

PSS NO ONE was hurt during this time so please refrain from mom shaming and finally being offended is a waste of time. OK BYE 🙂

 

 

Respect the stay at home mom 

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I’m a stay at home mom. I went back to work after I had our first son in 2012. I pumped at work and hired an amazing nanny who is still in our lives. She is so special to our family, so much so that, our son was her ring bearer. A few months after going back to work I decided to quit and stay home to raise our son.
This was NOT our plan. This decision crippled our marriage. The financial strain took its toll on my husband and the resentment became suffocating. We didn’t respect each other. I consumed myself with our baby and chose to ignore the giant elephant in the room.


So what did we do? Go to church, plug along and then try to have another baby of course! As I have explained in one of my earlier posts The D Word. We love each other so much but we got lost and tired and quit trying to communicate. I joke around with my hashtags for anyone that follows me on social media. #weactuallyloveachother or #ireallydolikehim

Before it was more like we coexisted and for the sake of our kids and pride we put up with all the bullshit and tough times without really dealing with the problem. RESPECT!
Now we don’t sugar coat. We tell each other what is up. With men they have no gray area. Women we are all sorts of gray. Better to be black and white and leave NO room for gray. The gray is what grows and becomes the troublesome elephant 🐘 you can’t avoid.


I felt like such a bitch but honestly I learned that expecting him to read my mind made it worse for me. Instead of “no honey I will do it” and then resenting him for not offering I ask for help and say “Actually can you mail that, can you take him to soccer, can you pick up the wine and No I’m sorry I can’t do that.”

Oddly enlightening it made him understand and respect me more when I admitted I needed him, couldn’t do it all and said no.
I’m so happy that we are closer than ever. We send each other funny texts. Share with each other and genuinely want to hangout.

Relationships are hard. The longer you stay in that negative place the harder it is to get out of it.
So now to point of my post. This week has been an eye opener to say the least. I had to report for jury duty. As a stay at home mom my initial thought is NO WAY is this gonna work! Who’s gonna help me take over my job? I will tell you who, Daddy and Meme. I am so thankful for my mom. She is my guardian angel and helps us so much! Daddy was a super trooper but after day 4 he was ready to shit the proverbial brick.

My babies were clearly pissed at me. The house is a wreck. And I think my older one may start a hunger strike soon. I can’t tell you how many times hubby texted me “are you done? This sucks! Ready to get back to our schedule. And my favorite Mommy is not going back to work.”


Also I can’t tell you how many people said to me “Oh you’re just a stay at home mom.”

Wow! That word “Just.”
That’s like saying “oh you’re just a piece of shit.”

Even though jury duty was pretty much an exhausting, eye opening, nerve wracking and somewhat tourtous experience I have looked at it as a blessing.

I know my boys love me but man alive this really hit them all pretty hard. Wait what?! “Where’s mommy go?!” The got a reality check and realization that “wow mommy does a LOT!” Even though it was only 4 days 8-5 the feeling of appreciation, respect and love flooded over me tonight. My boys were fighting over which one I would hold and cuddle next. Needless to say I am very happy and thankful to be home.


Now this is not to say going to work is better or worse. It’s just different. Each choice comes with a set of challenges. There is nothing like a mothers love. When you get sad what does your heart yearn for? Most people would say my mom.

I have met people from every walk of life. No ones job is more or less important than another. If anything this time in history tells us that we are all equal. Next week everyone has one vote. 18, 93, man, woman, gay, married, mother, transgender etc. No ones vote counts more than another.
I am raising the future. I take pride in what I do. I am thankful that I am able to take care of my family. I am privileged.
The world around us needs to respect ✊🏻
The lack of love, communication and respect is the demise of any relationship. It truly breaks my heart.
We need to love ourselves, our partners, children, family and friends. Sometimes the people that are the hardest to love, need the most love. I have mentioned my daily devotional that I read. “Jesus Calling.” This last passage spoke to my heart and helped me see the bigger picture.

We all have obstacles. We all have shit. I love my family more than anything. I just know that my happy place is at home taking care of my boys. I enjoy, Love and I’m proud to be a stay at home mom.
Xoxo
Just happy mommy

Respect the Stay At Home Mom

2 Comments

I’m a stay at home mom. I went back to work after I had our first son in 2012. I pumped at work and hired an amazing nanny who is still in our lives. She is so special to our family, so much so that, our son was her ring bearer. A few months after going back to work I decided to quit and stay home to raise our son.
This was NOT our plan. This decision crippled our marriage. The financial strain took its toll on my husband and the resentment became suffocating. We didn’t respect each other. I consumed myself with our baby and chose to ignore the giant elephant in the room.


So what did we do? Go to church, plug along and then try to have another baby of course! As I have explained in one of my earlier posts The D Word.

The D Word

We love each other so much but we got lost and tired and quit trying to communicate. I joke around with my hashtags for anyone that follows me on social media. #weactuallyloveachother or #ireallydolikehim

Before it was more like we coexisted and for the sake of our kids and pride we put up with all the bullshit and tough times without really dealing with the problem. RESPECT!
Now we don’t sugar coat. We tell each other what is up. With men they have no gray area. Women we are all sorts of gray. Better to be black and white and leave NO room for gray. The gray is what grows and becomes the troublesome elephant 🐘 you can’t avoid.


I felt like such a bitch but honestly I learned that expecting him to read my mind made it worse for me. Instead of “no honey I will do it” and then resenting him for not offering I ask for help and say “Actually can you mail that, can you take him to soccer, can you pick up the wine and No I’m sorry I can’t do that.”

Oddly enlightening it made him understand and respect me more when I admitted I needed him, couldn’t do it all and said no.
I’m so happy that we are closer than ever. We send each other funny texts. Share with each other and genuinely want to hangout.

Relationships are hard. The longer you stay in that negative place the harder it is to get out of it.
So now to point of my post. This week has been an eye opener to say the least. I had to report for jury duty. As a stay at home mom my initial thought is NO WAY is this gonna work! Who’s gonna help me take over my job? I will tell you who, Daddy and Meme. I am so thankful for my mom. She is my guardian angel and helps us so much! Daddy was a super trooper but after day 4 he was ready to shit the proverbial brick.

My babies were clearly pissed at me. The house is a wreck. And I think my older one may start a hunger strike soon. I can’t tell you how many times hubby texted me “are you done? This sucks! Ready to get back to our schedule. And my favorite Mommy is not going back to work.”


Also I can’t tell you how many people said to me “Oh you’re just a stay at home mom.”

Wow! That word “Just.”
That’s like saying “oh you’re just a piece of shit.”

Even though jury duty was pretty much an exhausting, eye opening, nerve wracking and somewhat tortuous experience I have looked at it as a blessing.

I know my boys love me but man alive this really hit them all pretty hard. Wait what?! “Where’s mommy go?!” The got a reality check and realization that “wow mommy does a LOT!” Even though it was only 4 days 8-5 the feeling of appreciation, respect and love flooded over me tonight. My boys were fighting over which one I would hold and cuddle next. Needless to say I am very happy and thankful to be home.


Now this is not to say going to work is better or worse. It’s just different. Each choice comes with a set of challenges. There is nothing like a mothers love. When you get sad what does your heart yearn for? Most people would say my mom.

I have met people from every walk of life. No ones job is more or less important than another. If anything this time in history tells us that we are all equal. Next week everyone has one vote. 18, 93, man, woman, gay, married, mother, transgender etc. No ones vote counts more than another.
I am raising the future. I take pride in what I do. I am thankful that I am able to take care of my family. I am privileged.
The world around us needs to respect ✊🏻
The lack of love, communication and respect is the demise of any relationship. It truly breaks my heart.
We need to love ourselves, our partners, children, family and friends. Sometimes the people that are the hardest to love, need the most love. I have mentioned my daily devotional that I read. “Jesus Calling.” This last passage spoke to my heart and helped me see the bigger picture.

We all have obstacles. We all have shit. I love my family more than anything. I just know that my happy place is at home taking care of my boys. Even when I have to wipe butts and get beaten with lightsabers and clean up messes ALL DAY LONG! I enjoy, Love and I’m proud to be a stay at home mom.
Xoxo
Just happy mommy

Welcome Back to Just Happy Mommy!

Welcome Back to Just Happy Mommy!

I am so excited to unveil my new website! After a couple of months of not posting and several meetings with our amazing website and marketing friend Chance Hawkins. Our labor of love is now delievered to my loving fans and readers!

Thank you to my husband who invested in my blog and believes in me. I would have quit if it were not for his love and support. Spending more time together and really being there for one another has brought us closer than ever.

So since I always promise to keep it real, many of you are probably wondering why I took a little break and didn’t post for 2 months. Well there are a lot of reasons and a lot of excuses, all of which are very real and personal. I also did not want to post half ass work. I wanted it to be good and meaninful. I decided not to just throw some junk up because my calendar said so.

The saddest and most heartbreaking reason I stopped writing because we have been dealing with so many health issues in my family. Both of our sons have been sick this past month but even more so it has been the daily struggle of seeing my sister in pain and wanting her to get better. Also my 93 year old grandmother has had 2 of 3 surgeries on her heart and is having her aortic valve replaced tomorrow. (Prayers and positive vibes always appreicated) The fear, anxiety and stress that it causes our the entire family as been imense. When you have a grandparent, parent, sibling, spouse or child that is sick, your entire life stops. My mom always says “Life gets in the way when you are busy making plans.” Well isnt that the truth for my amazingly strong family?! We are all blessed in so many ways and we have faith in God and trust in his plan. For me tho it was almost too much to share at the time. I was struggling with my depression and although I felt the need to share, I was exhausted and unsure.

After some soul searching, prayer and getting my sexy back I feel confident to share with you all. We all have shit going on. My stuff is not more important than anyone elses. I just know that in my past posts it has connected me with other people to let them know its ok. Life sucks sometimes. It is ok to not always feel #blessed. I am stronger today than I ever thought I would be. I am being tested and even though I feel like I will break, I just bend a little more and look at my babies sweet sleeping faces and know it is all worth it  to be with them.

I have explained that fear and anxiety are my cryptonite. Once you let them creep in they can take over not only your mind but your body and paralyze you. To people who suffer or know someone who suffers from depression or anxiety it is real and it sucks. Thankfully I surround myself with people who know me inside and out and reassure me that I am kicking ass at life. We all need a cheerleader. Even my cheerleaders need a cheerleader. Being genuine and asking how someone is doing can make a difference. Checking on someone, sending a gift, text or even making a call to someone can turn things around.

The second reason I took a break stems from this fear and anxiety. My husaband and I have recently become estranged from his dad and stepmom.  Back in July I wrote a blog about Racism and how it affected my family.

https://justhappymommy.com/2016/07/08/how-do-we-teach-our-children-about-racism-today/

Unfortuately 4 sentences in this post upset someone. I stated in my first blog post ever that I promised to offend someone.   I know that by writing a blog you will always have people that disagree with you. Never in my dreams did I think that it would be someone who shared my last name and tear my family apart. I am actually shaking writing this to you. I will be sharing these details in a later post.

The first ammendment right to freedom of speech is one that I hold dear. If you do NOT like my blog do NOT read it. Simple. Done. But for those of you that enjoy my writing this incident has now fueled me to continue to share. I am reminded daily rthat the journey of life and motherhood is never easy but we have to remember to be true to ourselves, shake them haters off and be JUST HAPPY!

I am so excited to share with you!

Please subscribe and follow me on Instagram, FaceBook, SnapChat & Twitter

Here are just a few things I am working on! Be sure to tune in!

  • EASY DIY Halloween Costumes LIVE on NBC KJRH Wednesday October 26 @ 11am
  • Coulrophobia: The Fear of Clowns
  • 2x’s the Birthday party fun (with a speical giveaway!)
  • Our Food Allergy Journey Update
  • Isn’t It Ironic 368 days ago
  • Hair VLOG tutorial

XOXO

Just Happy Mommy

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https://justhappymommy.com/2014/12/31/my-first-blog-post-ever/

 

 

“It’s Kristy bitch & I’m back!”

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I was taught “If you can’t say something nice don’t say anything at all.” But what if that deafening silence speaks volumes? 
I haven’t posted on my blog in over a month. I have felt really down because of some very sad and personal things going on in my family. Unfortunately this drama has caused stress to some relationships.  
So if I can’t say something nice I shouldn’t say anything at all right?! Well I am not going to perpetuate hate but my deafening silence has now come to an end and I am ready share my latest volumes with you. I finally decided to stop being afraid and continue to be me. 
Unedited, unfiltered, unapologetic and real!!! I am strong! I will bend but I will NOT break! 

I’m not perfect. No one is. Only God can judge me. My support system is amazing and I thank them all for helping me, believing in me and lifting me up when I felt so down. 

I love blogging! I know it when I write something good. I can feel it in my gut, my heart, and my nerves. It is almost like a giddy nervous feeling before I post. Sounds stupid to some but I’m so passionate about my writing that it feels like sharing a gift. I share myself, my life and experiences to connect with people. 

I realize that there will forever be haters. It’s really easy just don’t read my blog. Haters are now my fuel to drive my blog into the eyes of readers. 

Seriously tho, I know my blog isn’t a big deal. But hey, I believe in it and I know it has personally touched some people. It is terrifying to share some things (marriage counseling, mental health issues etc.) but once I do it makes me feel happy and free. It is always nice to relate to someone who is brave enough to share right?!

I’m excited to share some of my highest highs and the lowest lows and all the fun stuff in between. I will be unveiling my new website very soon! I think you will like my upgrades. So please be sure to look for my new posts! I have some exciting news and I will be doing some fun giveaways! 
It’s Kristy bitch & I’m back!

Xoxo

Just happy mommy 

I already miss those days 

I have been slacking on my blog because I am in survival mode. Since Back to School! I don’t know about you, but my “To Do List” is getting longer and longer by the day. I’m Realizing how much time it takes to do all this MOMMING and it is hardcore. I am used to easy breezy maybe-we-wear-pants-maybe-we-leave-the-house-maybe-we-eat-cake-for-breakfast type of days. 

We are all getting in the swing of things. I know it takes time. I am realizing that I am officially a SAHM (stay at home mom.) Now big brother goes 5 days, all day and my littlest just started school, 3 days, 1/2 day, so I get 7.5 glorious hours of “me” time a week. 
But, this whole getting up early, making breakfast, making lunches, getting me and the boys dressed, shoes on, teeth brushed, sippy cups in hand, and lovies out the door for school before 8am has me thrown for a loop. Just typing that makes me tired and want to drink another cup of coffee. 
But for now, I can accomplish 3 things between 9-2:30pm. Workout, eat and take a nap. MAYBE on a good day I will shower, or run to the store, or work on the computer. But if you have kids in a 1/2 day school or MDO that’s it! You are killing it at life if you have been on any or all of these levels!

The Five Levels of Being a Stay-At-Home-Mom


1.) The Go Getter! 

This positive attitude usually happens in the beginning of the week. Let’s go workout, get coffee, run errands and work on the house during nap time and even pre-plan dinner. I have never made it past Wednesday in this mode.

2.) The “Hey at least I…” 

This is like “hey I got one thing done today” and I’m pretty proud of myself so I’m going to treat my self to bathing and maybe even blow drying my hair. Sounds ridic right?!?! Wrong! Sometimes I haven’t washed my hair in a week (disgusting) but not even dry shampoo, deodorant and Chanel can help me. Straight scrub. 


3.) I have zero Fs to give! 

I’m tired and all I want to do is pray for a fairy maid mother and take a nap because I know what’s still waiting for me when I get up. A dirty house, laundry to fold, butts to wipe, and a million unread emails. So usually I chose to watch some bravo on dvr, eat any cheese or potato product available in the house, and take a nap. 


4.) What am I doing?

Let’s do a million activities and not accomplish anything. Play dates, birthday parties, grocery shopping, and going thru a drive thru. You’re busy. Sometimes too busy to even want to do the shit you said you were gonna do. This is exhausting. 

5.) Breaking point.

Mommy needs a break. When you do get a REAL break, enjoy it. Then you feel guilty, miss your kids, come home to chaos, and want to run back to the car. Being a parent is insanity. Expecting different results while doing the same thing over and over again. 


Ok peanut gallery I hear you all in my head. Get help! Hire a babysitter! Don’t be a stay at home mom! Go back to work! Stop bitching! Order everything online! Use a delivery service. You need time management and organizational classes. How about FU!?!?


Some people are cut from a magical cloth that allows them to run on little sleep, have energy like the energizer bunny and look bananas. I’m just not cut from that cloth. Thing is I enjoy being lazy. You ask my older son what my favorite thing to do is and without a moments hesitation he will say “SLEEP!”

I’m not hating. I get stuff done. I admire those who can “do it all.” I’m just stuck in the middle of feeling like “Hell ya I’m slaying it and then questioning if I’m sending a healthy enough lunch.” 

So I don’t do anything but pour myself a glass of water I mean wine and curl up in my robe and look at pretty people on Instagram while some TV show is on in the background. It’s called balance. 

Calendars are a full time job. I don’t know about you all, but I haven’t consistently checked my emails for 4 years. The only emails I open are “Your Package has shipped, track it now!”, Taco Bueno, Bath & Body Works, spa packages, and Southwest flights I long book. LOL but seriously! Now, it’s more stressful! Soccer, gymnastics, homework, PTA meetings, date nights, school events, birthdays, football, ETC!!! Do kids not get to be kids anymore? One day we are singing ABC’s, the next we are in line for a tardy slip at age 4. 

After naps and pickup, round 2 begins. The afterschool snack that will ultimately ruin dinner, afterschool activites, homework, baths, books, songs, prayers, and goodnight moon. BAHAHAHA GOTCHA! 

Hello this Just Happy Mommy 

not Bullshit Mommy. 

4 Ways bedtime happens at our house  
1.) Eat it, wash it, brush it, read it, pray it, kiss it, goodnight, lock the door.

2.) Afterschool activity, drive thru dinner, screaming “I’m not tired”, asleep in the car, crying in the bathroom, and pouring them into bed. (Which sounds exactly like a night out drinking in my 20’s, or my last birthday give or take)

3.) We all sit down, eat dinner together with NO TV, peacefully agree to bathe, drink our milk, watch a show together, brush our teeth, read 3 books, sing a song, say our prayers, and turn out the light saying “NO, I love you more.”

4.) Babysitter. You keep them alive. I pay you. 

Yes, I was just bitching about my kids driving me bonkers, but now I miss them and want to have little spy cameras on them. Ages 0-4. Hardest, yet the most control you will EVER have. Everything is harder for me BC I’m a control freak that tries to be chill. Sooo I already miss the days I am waiting to miss. 

The Trace Adkins song is playing in my head “You’re gonna miss this, you’re gonna want this back, you’re gonna wish these days didn’t go by so fast, these are the good times, so take a good look around, you may not know it now, but you’re gonna miss this.”

Trace Adkins You’re gonna miss this
Oh wait! You mean the days when I used to make my own life choices and didn’t have to be a slave to a calendar? Yes, yes, I miss those. 

Granted, this is my first rodeo. And for my veteran readers, just go ahead and shake your head, sip your wine, and say “ROOKIE” out the side of your mouth. All the new rules and the hustle and bustle has given me and my family a violent shove into “THE REAL WORLD.” And like The Diary of Britney Spears ” You think you know, but you have no idea.” It is true. Like anything in life we do not know what it is like until we actually experience it or live it ourselves.

Xoxo

Just Happy Mommy