Category

Mommy

Category

Ellipsis …

Ellipsis

el·lip·sis
noun
  1. the omission from speech or writing of a word or words that are superfluous or able to be understood from contextual clues.
    • a set of dots indicating an ellipsis

    An ellipsis is not what it used to be.

    Today it is something we see daily while being glued to our mobile devices.

    If you own a smart phone, which a vast majority of the human population does, we often hang on the dancing ellipsis waiting for the next text message to come thru. We can see when someone is typing and if the message is sent, delivered and even read.

    But what if we did not have this ellipsis?

    The anticipation of what comes next can be exciting and yet anxiety provoking. What if we don’t get a message back? What if we do not get the response we desire.? Even worse what if we see them typing on their device and then they delete said message and we are left thinking hmmm ‘I wonder what they were going to say and what made them rethink unsent text?’

    ARE YOU F-ING kidding me. Even typing this makes me sound mad as a hatter. BUT you are completely full of crap if you have NOT felt those things before during a text message conversation.

    UGH it is ridiculous. I hate that these younger generations can barely hold a conversation. I have seen kids half my age and older and they literally sit next to one another and text back and forth. It is weird, creepy and deceitful in a way.

    People DO NOT communicate properly. TALK TO EACHOTHER!

    The irony is NOT lost on me that I am sitting here writing a blog post, at a fancy desk top computer, when these things did NOT even exist during my childhood. WHAT IS A BLOG anyway??

    I just think it is sad how technology has given us so much, yet taken away some of the beautiful & simple things.

    Did you ever get a hand written note passed to you between classes in school? Do you remember the anticipation, fun, and exciting feeling reading the note in secret? Did you admire the persons penmanship?  The note gave you an almost intimate relationship with that person? Writing, passing and getting notes from your crush, a friend or enemy was such an exhilarating feeling. What will they say? I love writing it is so thought provoking, challenging and lets passion, humor & cleverness mix with grammar, spelling to let the words connect and tell a story that only your brain can explain to you.

    Reading notes, letters and even emails and texts are so fun, but what about pen-pals and hand writing letters. I think about postage and how it now is barely a surviving business. Print your stamps at home, is all I hear on the radio and podcasts. Looking to the past and how our grandparents communicated back and forth through letters from overseas while serving our country and protecting our freedoms. I could NOT imagine the excitement and thrill of getting a letter from your lover. These things rarely exist today. I can barely sit down to write thank you notes let alone write in my journal.

    When I was a little girl I remember practicing my letters in my bedroom for hours. I would practice my print upper and lower case until they were nearly as perfect as my teachers. Then being obsessed with cursive and how I would write my name. How would my signature tell my story?

    All of this seems lost on me now. Like life is one big ellipsis. We are moving so fast. We type and press send with our thumbs. Will our children even learn to write? I still enjoy and admire my mother and grandmother’s beautiful penmanship. The fluidity, perfection to detail and straight as an arrow even when there are no lines on the page to guide them.

    I guess for now we will hang on the ellipsis of today and hope that our children will still have the excitement of the written word. Just another reason I am a blogger. I have something to say. I want to leave a legacy for my boys. And for that …

    XOXO just happy mommy

Believe in Yourself

As a blogger, who makes little to no money, it’s hard for me to apologize for not posting. I haven’t posted in over a month. It’s not because I don’t have things to say, the it’s contrary.

I think about my blog everyday, but actually sitting down, writing and sharing felt overwhelming. Why? For me, the longer I wait, the more I question myself, procrastinate and lose faith. Should I keep doing this? Does anyone really care?

It’s almost like exercising or eating well, once you start and make it a part of your lifestyle, you actually end up craving that part of your day. It feels good to do things for yourself.

My family and I recently went on a beach vacation for 10 days and if you follow me at all on social media you know this. Some may have felt like they were actually on the beach with us. I over posted and I over shared. Why? Because I was in my happy place with my bestie and my sweet boys! Even tho traveling with kids is super hard the good outweighed the bad!

It seems harder and harder to get back into the swing of things after vacation. I felt like I was bitch slapped by a wave of reality as I poured the sand out of our shoes. I honestly missed having sand in our sheets.

As a woman, wife, mother, friend etc we feel pushed and pressured to be many things to many people. But often we forget about the most important person under God, ourselves.

My MeMaw has a sign in her house that says, “If mama ain’t happy then ain’t nobody happy.” If that doesn’t ring true to many of you then you prolly should just X out of this now.

The real reason I haven’t posted is because I have been closeting my sadness and anxiety. I am a happy person but I can’t fake it all the time. When I’m not happy with my husband, my kids are driving me crazy and my sister is taking a turn for the worse, I do NOT cope well. It is a rollercoaster of emotional and physical highs and lows and pure exhaustion.

Sometimes I am lazy and just want to sleep, sometimes I drink, sometimes I workout, sometimes I shop, sometimes I over eat, sometimes I under eat, sometimes I overcompensate and spoil my kids etc. If there is a life coping mechanism or vice trust me I’ve tried it. But faith is the only one that brings me back to me. Only I can make these choices and only God can help guide me and judge me.

Putting yourself out here (honestly) for others to read may seem like an easy thing to some people, but it is anything but. My blog and my words have given me great confidence, happiness and still even though it should be a healthy outlet it can be stressful and anxiety provoking. When the later happens I just post fluff and kind of shy away from what is really going on. It’s the teeter todder of excitement and fear. It’s not an “Oh (BHH) bless her heart,” it is what it is.

Taking any leap of faith takes real guts. Whether it is a new business venture, a new partner, trying for a baby, asking someone on a date, sharing yourself, your life and kids online is scary ass shit. So why do I do it? Do I need to feel vindicated? Do I need 100 likes and 18 comments to feel loved? NO and NO!

Genuinely, I want people, especially other people who suffer from and issues, confidence, anxiety or depression, to know that you can be and do anything you want! Do NOT succumb to the devil and live in fear. I refuse to give up on my dreams! My mom always tells me “Believe in yourself!”

I get fulfillment in my blog just like I get amped when I get to the gym and feel proud when I eat healthy!

I am ready to get back on the writing block and I am excited to share all kinds of things with you. There are so many new things in the works at Just Happy Mommy! All are fun and exciting and some are HUGE! Think: home, fashion, food, exercise, giveaways and of course new hilarious stories.

Thanks for reading!
I Love you all and remember everything is gonna be alright if we just tilt our perspective and try to be JUST HAPPY!

Xoxo
Just happy mommy

PS And oh ya and we are in the works of selling our home and looking for a new one to buy. So I’m not busy at all LOL 😂

BOTOX VIDEO

As many of you know I started getting BOTOX last year. And I LOVE IT!

Since I knew I was going to have professional photos taken I decided to really plan things out so that I would look my best.

After my friend and I got the date on the calendar I began to work backwards. These pictures were planned out from the outfits, location, down to the lipstick colors. So I called and got my appointment just a little over a week before the photoshoot.

Botox takes at least 7 days to really “set in” or freeze your face. Since I started getting injections, I now understand why people call it the gateway drug to plastic surgery.

It took years off my face and gave me the extra confidence I was looking for. I know that it is not for everyone. I am not paid by Botox and I am not your pusher love girl. I just keep it real and want you guys to know that I am not 34 with a frozen face.

When I was researching getting BOTOX I did not like the videos I saw, so I decided to film my last appointment. Here it is on my YouTube channel.

 BOTOX Injections Video

I film these videos for fun, entertainment and to share with my readers.  Even though I work hard to look my best I need a little help from my friends at BA Med Spa.

I asked for an eye brow lift the first time I got Botox and I won’t do that again. The second time I got some injections above my lip in my mustache area and it didn’t really do much.  If you get injections above our lip it helps soften wrinkles, plump and enhance your cupids bow.

So by the 3rd & 4th time I knew what I liked, what worked for my face and my nurse knew what I needed. Some people metabolize Botox faster or slower than others so that is why “they” say it lasts 3-6 months.

Be sure to research where you are going. Make sure the Dr. or nurse has a professional medical license to administer Botox or Dysport.

Drink lots of water and eat pineapple days before getting your treatment to help lessen bruising.

If you are scared about pain you can ask for some numbing cream but it just pinches a tad. I have heard some people hear the nerve crackle. The lip injections hurt pretty bad so I get the numbing cream.

Do NOT exercise the same day after your treatment. Do NOT lie flat for 4 hours after injections. Do NOT wear a hat for 24 hours.

Finally the dermaplaning. I am sooo in love. It feels so good and gives your skin an amazing, healthy glow.

It is not recommended to try any of these treatments without a professional licensed medical doctor or nurse.
I just share my personal experiences and what I chose to do.

This makes me happy. So with that,

XOXO
Just Happy Mommy

For more info contact BA MED SPA at 918-872-9999 or visit them at baweightspa.com

Reintroduction

Allow me to reintroduce myself my name is: 

Kristy Eller DeBoer or Just Happy Mommy 🎤🎼🎤🎼(Jay-Z PSA reference)

This post is a reintroduction of myself and my blog mission. 

I am a 34 year old mother of 2 boys and I’ve married to my babe for 10 years this September! 

I started this blog more as a personal diary for me to share and explore my life as a mommy. My husband encouraged me to share my work with others. The goal was, and still is, to be real, raw and honest about being a mommy today.  Life is too short to keep you down for too long.  I share my stories & how I am happily navigating life & motherhood. 

My most popular post was about insecurities & suffering from postpartum depression. The reaction I received was overwhelming and positive. 

I got messages of praise and thanks from other women who had similar experiences. It fueled me to continue to share the not so shiny & smiley side of motherhood all while keeping it geared towards being positive and knowing that being “just happy mommy” is the cornerstone of my message. 

I have explained the meaning behind the name Just Happy Mommy before but since this is a reintroduction I will tell the story again. I think it’s imperative to know where We began to understand the journey and where We are today. 

When we had our second son I was suffering from mastitis and having some major baby blues. The toll the 2nd c-section took on my body, having a wild 3 year old vying for my attention and trying to nurse a newborn was more than I could handle. I wouldn’t get out of bed much unless it was to go to the bathroom or try to bathe/massage the lumps and fever out of my breasts. 

My sweet husband and mother came to my rescue. I knew that I would never hurt myself or my children but I also knew I wasn’t feeling like myself. I cried and cried and just felt so defeated and sad. I will never forget my 3 year old coming to my bedside when I was in the throes of my postpartum and saying, “mommy just happy ok, just happy mommy, don’t cry, it’s ok, just happy mommy.”

So that is where the title to my blog came from. It was a tough time. But one that I am oddly thankful for because it connected me to knowing myself better. I also learned how to protect myself from things I can’t control and own my anxieties. 

It’s not your fault if you are struggling. Mental health is important. The negative stigma that comes with depression is bullshit. Shame on anyone who tries to dismiss or criticize those who are suffering.  I go further on this subject in this post:

 The terrible 3: Depression, Anxiety & Social Media

I am a work in progress.

The path I take maybe different than others, but it does not mean I’m lost.

My road maybe under construction but I know where I am going.

I have faith to follow my God where He may lead me. 

I hope you will continue to read my blog as I start this new chapter in my life and adventures in motherhood.

The best is yet to come! 

Xoxo

Just Happy Mommy

Photography by: Beth Hawkins Video & Photography

Location: The Meridia Urban. Luxury. Living 

I will be posting more photos with each future post.

We did 7 different looks and Beth captured my vision even better than I expected!

I am so thankful & excited to share all my fashion, beauty & workout tips! 

ADULTing is hard PARENTing is harder

Everyone has $&@!

It is part of life. I’m gonna put a few words out there, then match them to the antonym or opposite word to the right.

Remember doing this is school.

Health      Illness

Family         Stranger

Rich            Poor

Married        Single

Friend        Enemy

Child         Adult

I think we live in a world of opposites, oxymorons, and frankly, annoying arrays of pretty BS. When you read the words above, what do you think of? Some can sadly and easily be interchanged. My sons love to read this book called Peanut Butter & Cupcake. It’s all about finding friends and your match. The beauty is: they all can match in the cute chaos that is life.

Before I go any further, let me say that sometimes I feel like I need an addendum. (To any stalkers, haters, critics, or perfect people trying to judge or ruin my life.) So, here it goes, “Don’t let the door hit ya where the good Lord split ya.”

If you are searching for a feel good parenting post, please stop reading and go to another one of my posts. Also, it’s not necessary to call child protective services. This, after all, is just a blog, and I am just writing. So chill the F out.

I keep it real. Sometimes the stuff I say is offensive.

 

Now, cue the peanut gallery with all the words of wisdom, advice, memes, and grandiose ideas of how I can live an easier, stress free, perfect life and how I need to change despite my given circumstances.

Be thankful for my struggles, because God is challenging you for something greater than you can imagine.

I know God challenges us.

I know what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger.

I know control is not real.

I know to get on my knees and pray.

I know I will bend and not break.

I know it’s the darkest before the dawn.

I know someone is looking at me thinking, “What does she have to complain about?”

You don’t know someone else’s struggles.

Do you have a family member struggling with extreme health issues? Do you know what it’s like to see someone so ill, the doctors can’t fix them and you can’t do anything to help?

Do you know what it’s like to have a child with a disability? Do you worry everyday, that what they eat will cause a reaction,  or a near death experience?

Do you know what it is like to have a family member hate you?

Do you have a strong willed child? Do you have 2 strong willed children?

Do you go to therapy?

do you exercise to relieve stress?

do you eat too much or not enough?

Do you cry?

Do you take meds?

Do you drink?

Do you need help?
If you said “yes” to any of these then you know the pain and excuses and why it’s hard sometimes to stay positive.

Trust me, I know every single cliche because it’s on my Pinterest board and my Instagram feed e’rrrry damn day.

With that said, I am thankful, grateful, and blessed beyond measure. (Read 1/2 of my other posts.)

But you are completely full of BS if you haven’t bent so far you almost break. There is so much stuff we have been told we need to do. So much pressure and so many categories
We compare, question, worry and repeat.

Does the stress of being a parent strip you to your core and cause actual physical pain?! I feel like I’ve been carrying an elephant on my shoulders while being slowly suffocated by a boa constrictor around my neck for the past 5 years.

I am high strung. I am sensitive. I am uppity. I am a worrier. I trust my gut. I have strong maternal instincts.

For some mothers it begins during pregnancy. My hubs calls me a wolf mother. Because my heightened senses have never seemed to dull over the past 6 years.

I know my skills as a mother have rarely, if ever, lead me astray. I know myself and my kids.

Here’s the cold hard truth.

Adulting is hard.

Parenting is really hard.

Just because you admit that it is hard doesn’t mean you lose or succumb to it’s rigors.

You get tested everyday.

Sometimes in different ways, and sometimes it’s like ground hog day and you can’t seem to get off the hamster wheel to hell.

I know it’s all worth it. I am obsessed with my boys. They are the light in my eyes and the beat in my heart. But it doesn’t make it any less hard.

Combine the lack of sleep, the stress of feeding, the helpless feeling of caring for an ill child, the seemingly constant crying, screaming, fighting, whining, bickering, arguing, sass, self-inflicted injuries and the incessant questioning that is beyond exhausting.

Questions from your kids that you don’t know how to answer.

Questioning yourself at every turn.

Not having the answers.

Praying for some Divine intervention.

Daydreaming of a holiday alone.

How much do you tell them?

How much do you shelter them?

How real do you keep their childhood?

How do they measure up to some scale that is a learning curve, growth chart, or scientific study?

Sigh.

Am I doing enough?

Am I doing too much?

You need to do this.

You need to do that.

Have you tried this?

Don’t spank.

Do spank.

Don’t yell.

Don’t cuss.

Talk to your doctor.

Go to a therapist.

Read this book.

Watch this video.

Pray.

Here’s the thing….I have and do all of those things, but it doesn’t make it any less hard to be a parent.

It doesn’t mean that I’m doing it wrong.

It doesn’t mean I don’t enjoy being a mom.

Honestly I feel like motherhood saved me in a lot of ways.

But it is real hard. And it’s ok to say it is hard.

The good days outweigh the bad.

The days you cherish and look back on fondly cover up all of the terrible, horrible, no good, very bad days. I feel inundated by other parents telling me, “Oh, but you’re gonna miss these days. Oh, just wait till they are teenagers. You will look back and think, ‘Wow! I wish they were still little'”. I know because my mom is always right!

I think the influx of technologies and information available to us is astounding and terrible all at the same time. Surely, I am not alone on this one. Yes, tech is awesome and cool. But does anyone else feel pressured by it? Overwhelmed by it? We have to be this perfect combination of so many opposites. We have to be…

Flexible,

but still have a

routine

Create structure,

but be sure to enjoy

free time.

The struggle is real people!

Are we supposed to

Let it out and

talk it out, or

hold it in and

smile??

Just Breathe,

Or get on Meds.

Drink alcohol but

Don’t drink alcohol

Embrace your feelings:

Sadness

Fear

Disgust

Anger

Joy

But act like everything is gravy AF

Let kids be kids

Let them go outside,

But don’t let them out of your sight for one second because someone will kidnap them or they will get ran over

Have some quiet time or play quietly in your room. (aka, in my house, that’s putting them in front of a screen),

but don’t over stimulate them.

Make sure to nurture,

but don’t suffocate.

Encourage independence, but

shelter them from reality.

Teach them about the real world, but stay in the bubble.

Public school vs

private school

Do what’s best for your child.

Every child is different.

Be mindful.

Teach manners.

Be strong.

Be sensitive.

Don’t be a pu$$y.

Don’t say pu$$y.

Gender identity.

Super heroes & shopkins.

Mothers:

Should stay home

Should work part time

Should work

Take this pill.

dont take pills.

Get more sleep.

Drink more water.

Have a clean house.

But leave it until later, and enjoy your children.

Take a nap.

Don’t take a nap.

Make dinner.

Get food prep.

Get takeout.

Eat clean.

Be gluten, dairy, nut FREE. Or vegan.

Wear makeup.

Don’t wear makeup.

Don’t wear workout clothes,

but don’t be too dressed up.

Don’t judge,

but get on social media and judge people.

Go on date nights, because you can’t afford not to,

but save money.

Embrace your body,

but change it to be a healthier you.

Workout at home.

Go to the gym.

Eat this. Not that.

You only live once, so eat the butter, carbs, cheese, chocolate, pasta, wine etc!

“It’s OK to eat badly”, says the skinny person in your Instagram feed holding a donut.

My personal favorites are:

The best things in life are free, but you need millions of dollars to enjoy them.

Get some sunshine. But, Warning: it will cause cancer

Xoxo

Just happy mommy

What is a blog?

People ask me “what is a blog?” I say it is a digital medium that is a blank canvas for writers and artists to use to create and write about their passions.

So for me, blogging is a way to share my life experiences while I navigate being a wife, mother, sister & friend in this digital age.

justhappymommy

The criticism, like most art, is always there. People judge. But what has to be at the heart of any really good blog is belief.

Belief in yourself, belief in your writing and belief that it’s damn good. I joke around that since starting my blog I have painted myself into an honesty and humility corner.

Like my mission statement, I promise or vow to my readers that I will always keep it real! For example if someone doesn’t like what I wrote it’s easy to say well then don’t read my blog. It’s a nice way to say FU 😚🖕🏻. Just like a TV show, magazine or book you are still in control, if you don’t like it, don’t watch, purchase or read the media.

Blogging can be an art form, a business, a secret or hobby. It really is a cool way to share, but be careful that you remember, as I do daily, that “you can’t make everyone happy you’re Not Target” 🎯 😂

I struggle with taking myself too seriously then feeling so down & not confident in my ability to produce good content. Then back up the mountain of writers block to a flood of ideas and creativity that I can’t even keep up with. Like typing this at 4am.

Thus my idea that I wanted to be Tulsa’s Oprah with my 12 days of Christmas, Favorite Things, giveaways as a one man band, with 2 kids, no budget and a dream! img_4047.jpg

I love Lisa Rinna’s new tag line on RHOBH “don’t try to hustle the hustler” some days we put on lipstick 💄 big girl boss pants and some days we cry and say WTF am I doing. I should just quit. This is so hard, time consuming and nobody really gives a shit but me.

Well don’t we all feel like that no matter what career or passion we pursue? If it doesn’t scare the hell out of you then you aren’t dreaming big enough! Well let me tell you, I am both!

I’m not peddling a thing except my self. I’m giving away amazing, fun and frankly, bad ass prizes just because I can. I know people LOL!

Being a blogger may sound like a made up, bullshit job, and maybe it is, and the jokes on me. Although, giving your time, putting your heart and life out there is no easy task.

Anyone can can post a pretty picture.  But what does that picture say in 1,000 words?

Xoxo

Just Happy Mommy

#givingtuesday

I wrote a post this time last year about Giving Tuesday. My husband and I visited our local homeless shelter with BIG hopes and aspirations to help out those struggling in our community. We have NOT been back since. We talked about it. Thought about it. Never acted on our plans to go back and volunteer. I feel so sad, guilty and ashamed for not following through. Unfortuneately I feel like I am not the only one. Maybe we do something once or twice a year to help out others. What kind of example am I setting? Well I am bound and determined to do more.

Teaching my boys that this time of year is not only about being thankful but also that it is about the spirit of giving. This morning my son took his teachers a couple of candles just to say thank you and I appreciate you.

This weekend we are going shopping with our friends to purchase toys for boys and girls their age and donate them to less fortunate kids. I am excited and anxious to see how he reacts and responds. I pray that he will feel the joy and excitement that comes with giving.

I have always been surrounded by very generous people. We are a part of a very caring and close group of friends in our community. Tulsa is a special place. We are a Big City with a Small Town culture. There are just 2/3 degrees of separation which I personally love and find very charming. I love living in Tulsa. It is so fun growing up and now seeing my friends with their kids. Now our kids are friends and we go to each others kids birthday parties and celebrate baptisms and holidays together. Another very unique and special thing that I take pride in is that we support each other. We genuinely want each other to succeed and we feel happy when they do.

Several of us own our own businesses. After Thanksgiving we have Black Friday, Cyber Monday and now today Giving Tuesday. Some of my longtime friends own a beautiful, professional and classy home furnishing & design company. Luxe Furniture & Design is owned and opperated by Chris & Tamara Noel. We grew up together. We played tennis together and graduated from the same high school and now we both have 2 little boys. We share the ups & downs, excitement & stress of being parents and owning your own business. Tamara is not only a wonderful mother but she works tirelessly to provide the best quality and service to Tulsan’s looking for the best in fine furniture & design.  My hubs and I recently went to their stunning showroom and if you haven’t been you must go check it out. Their expertise on custom interiors is quite impressive, not to mention the amazing selection of fabrics and choices.

Luxe is located at 9922 Riverside Parkway in Tulsa. And earlier this month they hosted a local bloggers event. Their enthusiasm about the holidays was contagious. And since today is #givingtuesday I thought it would be the perfect day to do my first official #justhappymommy #giveaway.  ENTER TO WIN  just sign up to follow my blog. It is EASY just look for my popup to get updates on my posts and I am going to “pick” a winner this week!

I am so excited to GIVEAWAY a $100 Giftcard to Luxe Furniture & Design.

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Also included in this GIVEAWAY is a $25 Giftcard to J. Cole Shoes!!! They have some of the BEST shoes in town! Also be sure to follow them on Instagram

With ONLY 25 shopping days left before Christmas these Giftcards would be a great place to start or finish getting gifts! They both have fun, fashionable and festive array of gifts for everyone on your list. Besides the obvious gorgeous furniture & home decor they have my favorite candle and hand cream; Volcano by Capri. It is the perfect gift for any teacher, co-worker or for your home.

The spirit of giving is contagious. I am already feeling more inspired. Making someone smile and get “all the feels” is what Christmas time is all about. Good Luck in my first Giveaway. I have another one coming up soon!

XOXO

Just Happy Mommy

Thanksgiving Recap the Real Life Version

Here is our Thanksgiving week Recap! The #reallife version not the pinterest, social media version. We had the ups and downs that everyone has. Some of this stuff I have to tell you. I swear I can’t make this shit up. SO I have to share.

Sunday

Family time Home Depot X’s 3

Armed with our list we are ready to have a fun little Sunday. 

My older one starts flailing on the floor and then holds open his legs and farts. Gross! They of course are laughing their asses off and this starts the snowball effect of boys. 

Then the baby sees a sweet pregnant couple walking down the aisle towards us and rudely starts yelling and growling at them. I said “stop it.” He bats at me and continues to snarl. Then they burp followed by spitting on the ground. Ok we are done. I take both kids back to the car empty handed and we swing thru the taco Bueno drive thru.  Daddy returns later to get the new Christmas tree and leaves his phone at customer service. Mommy goes to target to satiate the babies pouch addiction and retrieves the phone from Home Depot. Done!  This is the tree we picked out! I am so happy! Martha Stewart Living Christmas Tree

Monday 

Got the baby off to school and on to the LIST! 

I kept my older son with me and we had a fun day shopping at Home Goods, Super Target and the At Home store. Spending daddy’s money all over town. Then we had lunch at Hideaway pizza his favorite!

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At Home
img_8186
Home Goods

I offered to host thanksgiving this year. My mom has been thru enough this year. So I gladly took it off her plate. Plus the boys are so excited to have it at our house and it’s a perfect excuse to get my house in order.

The kids have different plans.  

The boys Flood the bath room every night. And tonight was no exception. The new bath mat that I got at target had not been in our house 2 hours and it still had a tag on it got soaked! I take away the toys and lie down 2-4 towels to soak up All the water on the tile. And while I’m drying one off and getting them lotion up and their undies on the other continues to make a mess. 

Since we got the new tree they are constantly asking if they can decorate the tree. I finally said yes you can. You can put these NON breakable ones on. Then they broke 3 ornaments in 3 minutes even when I said these aren’t breakable. “Ok…Let me test this one for you mommy…” 

Crash and tears img_8199

“Oh. No. you said this wasn’t breakable,”  they said.

I said “UM Well it’s not meant to be thrown on the floor and stepped on.”

I said “please stop touching it, I don’t want it to cut you,” as he looks into my eyes and rubs his index finger over the broken skiing penguin & my OU ornament that I had kept since college. 

Inner monologue “Are you fucking serious?” Out loud “OMG! Stop!”

They have to test and question and push on everything. Never take your word for it and saying “ok mommy.”

I’m super Thankful that our neighbors have 3 small kids otherwise I think people would have called us in for domestic disturbances nightly. Bedtime …

Tuesday 

Got up (most Mom’s will understand that getting up and around can be at least a 2 hour process before actually leaving the house)

Made breakfast bacon & strawberries & pouches 

Plan was to go to the gym and take the boys to kids club and visit sissy at the hospital. On the phone with my mom and the older one yells from the back, “but we didn’t have dinner.” “What?!! We had breakfast I made a pound of bacon and strawberries with blue Gatorade.” Ugh fine so you want a bagel cream cheese too?!” Drive thru Old School Bagel and then to St. John. ( I cater to my boys bc they are underweight and refuse to eat half the time)

I get out of the car and Perry starts throwing up all over the parking lot. Oh NO! Poor baby! He looks at me and said “I throwed up.” He Lifts his arm, covered in bacon and strawberries, and says “Try it.” Ewe! Fucking gag. I have gotten so much better but throw up is one of those things I have to tell myself over and over out loud “It’s OK, It’s OK.”  Trying to convince myself it is and not barf myself.

Well, ok new plan, no kids club & definitely not going to see my sissy to share barf germs. So we drop off her favorite sun dried tomato basil bagel from Old School and the bacon I made for her to my mom in the hospital garage. 

Then the gas light keeps coming on in my car, so I figure we better stop to get gas at QT. 

Roman insists on helping me. This summer I told him that a gentleman pumps a ladies gas. Since then he always wants to help. I said “no not today, no it’s raining please stay in the car.” 

Again not listening. 

Insistent again and next thing you know he’s unbuckled and outside next to me. 

Ok he’s done this 1/2 dozen times. He won’t wear a jacket and it’s cool and rainy today. He climbs under the hose to get “cozy” with me and as he does it pulls the hose out of my car and gas is flooding and spraying out everywhere all over him, all over me and the ground! We are literally soaked in unleaded gasoline. He starts screaming and crying I start screaming “FUCK!!!!!!!!!!”  and crying “are you kidding me?!?! Ahhhhhhhhh!”

Zoolander Freak Gasoline Fight Accident

I get him in the back of the car and stripped his clothes off and threw them away. I call the station attendant to let him know my son spilled some gas. He said “well that looks like more than just a splash.” I said “ya well sorry, we are both covered and I need to bathe us.” Roman is crying saying “it’s all my fault.” I said “yes, yes it is. You just don’t listen! What’s it going to take?” Driving down 36th street in my sports bra with all the windows down whilst screaming “WTF!!!. Is this a joke?”

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Gasoline Fight Accident

Speeding to my parents house we screech into the driveway and my little one scurries in with just his Zootopia undies on crying “it’s all my fault. ” Perry had his face covered with his blanket from the gas fumes. As soon as I unbuckle him he starts vomiting all over my parents driveway. “SHIT!!!!!” It’s raining. Ok ok let’s get inside without letting the dogs out. 

I get all 3 of us in the shower and soap and lather us all over and over. I can still smell the gas on my wedding rings. The boys seem happy so I leave them sitting on the seat in the shower and I call my mom for help. (They are safe, safety police!) She leaves my sisters bedside to come help me. 

Later that day and evening I can’t move. My body starts to ache and I am praying that I am not getting sick. I cannot get out of bed. Daddy takes over and I take meds and go to sleep. My body is saying a BIG F U! I never threw up but I was def down for a good 20 hours.

 Wednesday 

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Daddy Painting
Sprouts Turkey
Sprouts Turkey

Of course we decide to paint the kitchen cabinets the day before we host Thanksgiving.

Daddy is kicking butt and taking names. He even cleaned one of the bathrooms!!! I am doing lots of the Thanksgiving Prep work, cooking allergy friendly bread, mashed potatoes and of course roasting my first Thanksgiving turkey. I promise I will post my recipes soon for those who are curious of how I make my little nuggets allergy friendly food.

Thursday

Thanksgiving was nearly perfect. My sister was not able to get released to join us but we still made it special for her as best we could. I brought her place setting on my Vera Wang, Wedgwood China and all. She was thrilled to say the least. I don’t know about you but eating hospital food (as much as it has improved) is pretty Damn sad on Thanksgiving. My mother-in-law and husband’s grandma drove in and joined us. They also hand washed all my China! We only broke one champagne flute and no one got seriously injured or threw up. Winning!

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Friday

We literally did NOT leave the house. The boys stayed in their PJ’s ate pie for breakfast, grazed on left overs all day and we all watched movies. It was the perfect lazy day we all needed. Hubby and I binge watched the last 5 episodes of The People Vs. OJ on Amazon Prime. And as the boys were falling asleep I walked into our room and tears filled my eyes. “The boys are getting so big! When they are sweet they are sooo sweet. I am so thankful for them.”

Saturday/ Sunday

I woke up with 3 boys in my bed. Does NOT get better than that! I made bacon and waffles and there was little to no fighting. No we are getting ready to go to the gym and coming almost full circle. As I put on my favorite Lululemon jacket I am reminded of our gasoline fight accident. I am sitting here typing, I’m trying to convince myself that I do not smell like a combustible combination of gasoline, downy, bounce sheets and Febreze.
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Looking back at this week I just have to laugh. Somedays are crazy, terrible and frustrating. I quickly realized that these crazies are my life and that Thanksgiving is about spending time with the ones we love. Nothing can be perfect. I think it is perfectly normal to experience these ups and downs to appreciate the good times. I know that these days will not last forever.

I will miss the days when we are all smiling together on the beach, at the pool, laughing at the kitchen table, making fun of each other and trying not to spit out our drinks from laughing. I will miss the semi naked dance parties with my kids. I will miss their little voices. I will miss the sound of them walking into our room. I know I have a lot to be thankful for. 

I have more blessings than I can count. The ones I hold most dear drive me the craziest. My boys have my whole heart, body and mind. We recently jammed out to Bryan Adams “Everything I do, I do it for you.” It is the perfect song for me right now. 

Happy Thanksgiving to you and yours 

Xoxo

Just Happy Mommy 

Respect the Stay At Home Mom

SORRY FOR THE TECHNICAL DIFFICULTIES!img_6900img_6906

 

 

 

We now return you to your regularly scheduled program.

I’m a stay at home mom. I went back to work after I had our first son in 2012. I pumped at work and hired an amazing nanny who is still in our lives. She is so special to our family, so much so that, our son was her ring bearer. A few months after going back to work I decided to quit and stay home to raise our son.

This was NOT our plan. This decision crippled our marriage. The financial strain took its toll on my husband and the resentment became suffocating. We didn’t respect each other. I consumed myself with our baby and chose to ignore the giant elephant in the room.

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So what did we do? Go to church, plug along and then try to have another baby of course! As I have explained in one of my earlier posts The D Word.

The D Word

We love each other so much but we got lost and tired and quit trying to communicate. I joke around with my hashtags for anyone that follows me on social media. #weactuallyloveachother or #ireallydolikehim

img_6875Before it was more like we coexisted and for the sake of our kids and pride we put up with all the bullshit and tough times without really dealing with the problem. RESPECT!
Now we don’t sugar coat. We tell each other what is up. With men they have no gray area. Women we are all sorts of gray. Better to be black and white and leave NO room for gray. The gray is what grows and becomes the troublesome elephant 🐘 you can’t avoid.
I felt like such a bitch but honestly I learned that expecting him to read my mind made it worse for me. Instead of “no honey I will do it” and then resenting him for not offering I ask for help and say “Actually can you mail that, can you take him to soccer, can you pick up the wine and No I’m sorry I can’t do that.”

Oddly enlightening it made him understand and respect me more when I admitted I needed him, couldn’t do it all and said no.
I’m so happy that we are closer than ever. We send each other funny texts. Share with each other and genuinely want to hangout.

Relationships are hard. The longer you stay in that negative place the harder it is to get out of it.
So now to point of my post. This week has been an eye opener to say the least. I had to report for jury duty. As a stay at home mom my initial thought is NO WAY is this gonna work! Who’s gonna help me take over my job? I will tell you who, Daddy and Meme. I am so thankful for my mom. She is my guardian angel and helps us so much! Daddy was a super trooper but after day 4 he was ready to shit the proverbial brick.

My babies were clearly pissed at me. The house is a wreck. And I think my older one may start a hunger strike soon. I can’t tell you how many times hubby texted me “are you done? This sucks! Ready to get back to our schedule. And my favorite Mommy is not going back to work.”

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Also I can’t tell you how many people said to me “Oh you’re just a stay at home mom.”

Wow! That word “Just.”
That’s like saying “oh you’re just a piece of shit.”

Even though jury duty was pretty much an exhausting, eye opening, nerve wracking and somewhat tortuous experience I have looked at it as a blessing.

I know my boys love me but man alive this really hit them all pretty hard. Wait what?! “Where’s mommy go?!” The got a reality check and realization that “wow mommy does a LOT!” Even though it was only 4 days 8-5 the feeling of appreciation, respect and love flooded over me tonight. My boys were fighting over which one I would hold and cuddle next. Needless to say I am very happy and thankful to be home.

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Now this is not to say going to work is better or worse. It’s just different. Each choice comes with a set of challenges. There is nothing like a mothers love. When you get sad what does your heart yearn for? Most people would say my mom.

I have met people from every walk of life. No ones job is more or less important than another. If anything this time in history tells us that we are all equal. Next week everyone has one vote. 18, 93, man, woman, gay, married, mother, transgender etc. No ones vote counts more than another.
I am raising the future. I take pride in what I do. I am thankful that I am able to take care of my family. I am privileged.
The world around us needs to respect ✊🏻
The lack of love, communication and respect is the demise of any relationship. It truly breaks my heart.
We need to love ourselves, our partners, children, family and friends. Sometimes the people that are the hardest to love, need the most love. I have mentioned my daily devotional that I read. “Jesus Calling.” This last passage spoke to my heart and helped me see the bigger picture.

img_6862We all have obstacles. We all have shit. I love my family more than anything. I just know that my happy place is at home taking care of my boys. I enjoy, Love and I’m proud to be a stay at home mom.

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Xoxo
Just happy mommy

Last Minute, Easy, DIY Halloween Costumes

Last Minute, Easy, DIY Halloween Costumes
LIVE on NBC Midday News

https://youtu.be/NaXpB-VZLd4

It’s 5pm on Halloween! Still need an idea for a costume! Click the link above to see my Last Minute, Easy, DIY Halloween Costume ideas!
Also don’t forget about the Teal Pumpkin Project!!! Keep our kids safe!!

http://www.foodallergy.org/teal-pumpkin-project#.WBe9EoY8KaM

I’m a mouse 🐭 duh 🙄

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Xoxo

Happy Halloween 👻

Just Happy Mommy