As a blogger, who makes little to no money, it’s hard for me to apologize for not posting. I haven’t posted in over a month. It’s not because I don’t have things to say, the it’s contrary.
I think about my blog everyday, but actually sitting down, writing and sharing felt overwhelming. Why? For me, the longer I wait, the more I question myself, procrastinate and lose faith. Should I keep doing this? Does anyone really care?
It’s almost like exercising or eating well, once you start and make it a part of your lifestyle, you actually end up craving that part of your day. It feels good to do things for yourself.
My family and I recently went on a beach vacation for 10 days and if you follow me at all on social media you know this. Some may have felt like they were actually on the beach with us. I over posted and I over shared. Why? Because I was in my happy place with my bestie and my sweet boys! Even tho traveling with kids is super hard the good outweighed the bad!
It seems harder and harder to get back into the swing of things after vacation. I felt like I was bitch slapped by a wave of reality as I poured the sand out of our shoes. I honestly missed having sand in our sheets.
As a woman, wife, mother, friend etc we feel pushed and pressured to be many things to many people. But often we forget about the most important person under God, ourselves.
My MeMaw has a sign in her house that says, “If mama ain’t happy then ain’t nobody happy.” If that doesn’t ring true to many of you then you prolly should just X out of this now.
The real reason I haven’t posted is because I have been closeting my sadness and anxiety. I am a happy person but I can’t fake it all the time. When I’m not happy with my husband, my kids are driving me crazy and my sister is taking a turn for the worse, I do NOT cope well. It is a rollercoaster of emotional and physical highs and lows and pure exhaustion.
Sometimes I am lazy and just want to sleep, sometimes I drink, sometimes I workout, sometimes I shop, sometimes I over eat, sometimes I under eat, sometimes I overcompensate and spoil my kids etc. If there is a life coping mechanism or vice trust me I’ve tried it. But faith is the only one that brings me back to me. Only I can make these choices and only God can help guide me and judge me.
Putting yourself out here (honestly) for others to read may seem like an easy thing to some people, but it is anything but. My blog and my words have given me great confidence, happiness and still even though it should be a healthy outlet it can be stressful and anxiety provoking. When the later happens I just post fluff and kind of shy away from what is really going on. It’s the teeter todder of excitement and fear. It’s not an “Oh (BHH) bless her heart,” it is what it is.
Taking any leap of faith takes real guts. Whether it is a new business venture, a new partner, trying for a baby, asking someone on a date, sharing yourself, your life and kids online is scary ass shit. So why do I do it? Do I need to feel vindicated? Do I need 100 likes and 18 comments to feel loved? NO and NO!
Genuinely, I want people, especially other people who suffer from and issues, confidence, anxiety or depression, to know that you can be and do anything you want! Do NOT succumb to the devil and live in fear. I refuse to give up on my dreams! My mom always tells me “Believe in yourself!”
I get fulfillment in my blog just like I get amped when I get to the gym and feel proud when I eat healthy!
I am ready to get back on the writing block and I am excited to share all kinds of things with you. There are so many new things in the works at Just Happy Mommy! All are fun and exciting and some are HUGE! Think: home, fashion, food, exercise, giveaways and of course new hilarious stories.
Thanks for reading!
I Love you all and remember everything is gonna be alright if we just tilt our perspective and try to be JUST HAPPY!
Just happy mommy
PS And oh ya and we are in the works of selling our home and looking for a new one to buy. So I’m not busy at all LOL 😂