Everyone has $&@!

It is part of life. I’m gonna put a few words out there, then match them to the antonym or opposite word to the right.

Remember doing this is school.

Health      Illness

Family         Stranger

Rich            Poor

Married        Single

Friend        Enemy

Child         Adult

I think we live in a world of opposites, oxymorons, and frankly, annoying arrays of pretty BS. When you read the words above, what do you think of? Some can sadly and easily be interchanged. My sons love to read this book called Peanut Butter & Cupcake. It’s all about finding friends and your match. The beauty is: they all can match in the cute chaos that is life.

Before I go any further, let me say that sometimes I feel like I need an addendum. (To any stalkers, haters, critics, or perfect people trying to judge or ruin my life.) So, here it goes, “Don’t let the door hit ya where the good Lord split ya.”

If you are searching for a feel good parenting post, please stop reading and go to another one of my posts. Also, it’s not necessary to call child protective services. This, after all, is just a blog, and I am just writing. So chill the F out.

I keep it real. Sometimes the stuff I say is offensive.

 

Now, cue the peanut gallery with all the words of wisdom, advice, memes, and grandiose ideas of how I can live an easier, stress free, perfect life and how I need to change despite my given circumstances.

Be thankful for my struggles, because God is challenging you for something greater than you can imagine.

I know God challenges us.

I know what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger.

I know control is not real.

I know to get on my knees and pray.

I know I will bend and not break.

I know it’s the darkest before the dawn.

I know someone is looking at me thinking, “What does she have to complain about?”

You don’t know someone else’s struggles.

Do you have a family member struggling with extreme health issues? Do you know what it’s like to see someone so ill, the doctors can’t fix them and you can’t do anything to help?

Do you know what it’s like to have a child with a disability? Do you worry everyday, that what they eat will cause a reaction,  or a near death experience?

Do you know what it is like to have a family member hate you?

Do you have a strong willed child? Do you have 2 strong willed children?

Do you go to therapy?

do you exercise to relieve stress?

do you eat too much or not enough?

Do you cry?

Do you take meds?

Do you drink?

Do you need help?
If you said “yes” to any of these then you know the pain and excuses and why it’s hard sometimes to stay positive.

Trust me, I know every single cliche because it’s on my Pinterest board and my Instagram feed e’rrrry damn day.

With that said, I am thankful, grateful, and blessed beyond measure. (Read 1/2 of my other posts.)

But you are completely full of BS if you haven’t bent so far you almost break. There is so much stuff we have been told we need to do. So much pressure and so many categories
We compare, question, worry and repeat.

Does the stress of being a parent strip you to your core and cause actual physical pain?! I feel like I’ve been carrying an elephant on my shoulders while being slowly suffocated by a boa constrictor around my neck for the past 5 years.

I am high strung. I am sensitive. I am uppity. I am a worrier. I trust my gut. I have strong maternal instincts.

For some mothers it begins during pregnancy. My hubs calls me a wolf mother. Because my heightened senses have never seemed to dull over the past 6 years.

I know my skills as a mother have rarely, if ever, lead me astray. I know myself and my kids.

Here’s the cold hard truth.

Adulting is hard.

Parenting is really hard.

Just because you admit that it is hard doesn’t mean you lose or succumb to it’s rigors.

You get tested everyday.

Sometimes in different ways, and sometimes it’s like ground hog day and you can’t seem to get off the hamster wheel to hell.

I know it’s all worth it. I am obsessed with my boys. They are the light in my eyes and the beat in my heart. But it doesn’t make it any less hard.

Combine the lack of sleep, the stress of feeding, the helpless feeling of caring for an ill child, the seemingly constant crying, screaming, fighting, whining, bickering, arguing, sass, self-inflicted injuries and the incessant questioning that is beyond exhausting.

Questions from your kids that you don’t know how to answer.

Questioning yourself at every turn.

Not having the answers.

Praying for some Divine intervention.

Daydreaming of a holiday alone.

How much do you tell them?

How much do you shelter them?

How real do you keep their childhood?

How do they measure up to some scale that is a learning curve, growth chart, or scientific study?

Sigh.

Am I doing enough?

Am I doing too much?

You need to do this.

You need to do that.

Have you tried this?

Don’t spank.

Do spank.

Don’t yell.

Don’t cuss.

Talk to your doctor.

Go to a therapist.

Read this book.

Watch this video.

Pray.

Here’s the thing….I have and do all of those things, but it doesn’t make it any less hard to be a parent.

It doesn’t mean that I’m doing it wrong.

It doesn’t mean I don’t enjoy being a mom.

Honestly I feel like motherhood saved me in a lot of ways.

But it is real hard. And it’s ok to say it is hard.

The good days outweigh the bad.

The days you cherish and look back on fondly cover up all of the terrible, horrible, no good, very bad days. I feel inundated by other parents telling me, “Oh, but you’re gonna miss these days. Oh, just wait till they are teenagers. You will look back and think, ‘Wow! I wish they were still little'”. I know because my mom is always right!

I think the influx of technologies and information available to us is astounding and terrible all at the same time. Surely, I am not alone on this one. Yes, tech is awesome and cool. But does anyone else feel pressured by it? Overwhelmed by it? We have to be this perfect combination of so many opposites. We have to be…

Flexible,

but still have a

routine

Create structure,

but be sure to enjoy

free time.

The struggle is real people!

Are we supposed to

Let it out and

talk it out, or

hold it in and

smile??

Just Breathe,

Or get on Meds.

Drink alcohol but

Don’t drink alcohol

Embrace your feelings:

Sadness

Fear

Disgust

Anger

Joy

But act like everything is gravy AF

Let kids be kids

Let them go outside,

But don’t let them out of your sight for one second because someone will kidnap them or they will get ran over

Have some quiet time or play quietly in your room. (aka, in my house, that’s putting them in front of a screen),

but don’t over stimulate them.

Make sure to nurture,

but don’t suffocate.

Encourage independence, but

shelter them from reality.

Teach them about the real world, but stay in the bubble.

Public school vs

private school

Do what’s best for your child.

Every child is different.

Be mindful.

Teach manners.

Be strong.

Be sensitive.

Don’t be a pu$$y.

Don’t say pu$$y.

Gender identity.

Super heroes & shopkins.

Mothers:

Should stay home

Should work part time

Should work

Take this pill.

dont take pills.

Get more sleep.

Drink more water.

Have a clean house.

But leave it until later, and enjoy your children.

Take a nap.

Don’t take a nap.

Make dinner.

Get food prep.

Get takeout.

Eat clean.

Be gluten, dairy, nut FREE. Or vegan.

Wear makeup.

Don’t wear makeup.

Don’t wear workout clothes,

but don’t be too dressed up.

Don’t judge,

but get on social media and judge people.

Go on date nights, because you can’t afford not to,

but save money.

Embrace your body,

but change it to be a healthier you.

Workout at home.

Go to the gym.

Eat this. Not that.

You only live once, so eat the butter, carbs, cheese, chocolate, pasta, wine etc!

“It’s OK to eat badly”, says the skinny person in your Instagram feed holding a donut.

My personal favorites are:

The best things in life are free, but you need millions of dollars to enjoy them.

Get some sunshine. But, Warning: it will cause cancer

Xoxo

Just happy mommy

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